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“When I have a conversation with someone, I always invite the other person to go first.”

A thought by John C. Maxwell from his book, Leadershift (p. 89). HarperCollins Leadership. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.)

Ok, I wonder why?

John continues, “It’s not only polite but it’s smart. Asking a good question without a slanted preamble is good because you can find out what the other person is really thinking, and that’s more important than what I want them to think. In addition, if I listen first, the odds increase for the other person to listen to me, because he or she has already been heard.

“When I start a professional relationship with someone, the most important thing to establish up-front is our expectations for each other. What does the other person expect of me? What do I expect of him or her? That way we can find out if our desires are compatible. We may need to adjust our expectations to bring them into alignment so that we can both sign off on them. And if I’m the leader in this relationship, the better I know the person, the better I’ll know how to lead them.

“Once I’ve learned the other person’s expectations up-front by asking questions, I set expectations for the other person by communicating (the) statement, it’s not about me—it’s not about you—it’s about the big picture.”

John goes on, “A mature person has the ability to see and respect different perspectives. However, when you’re leading a team, department, or organization, you must always keep your eye on the big picture. And maybe you’re aware of what I call the Law of the Big Picture in my book The 17 Indisputable Laws of Teamwork: the goal is more important than the role. Each person has a role on a team. Why? To help the team accomplish its goal. To fulfill the bigger picture, no individuals—not any team member and not the leader—can lose sight of the goal and get consumed by themselves.

“This statement has power only when I start with the part that says it’s not about me. I may be the owner of my companies, but I need to remember that it really isn’t about me. I don’t need to make every leadership decision. I don’t need to have my idea win in every meeting. The organization needs to be successful. And if others know that it’s not about me, then they should be willing to accept that it’s also not about them. This can be difficult for some people, especially if they are very talented and have star potential. But high talent with low self-awareness requires a lot of maintenance. That’s why it’s important to get expectations settled upfront. The team doesn’t play its best when its best player thinks it’s all about them.”

So, it’s important to see where everyone fits in the big picture, isn’t it?  

Yes, yes!
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