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“Have you ever thought about why you react the way you do when you get disconnected?”

A thought by John C. Maxwell from his book, Everyone Communicates, Few Connect. HarpersCollins Leadership Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.)

So why does it frustrate you?

John says, “Being disconnected wastes your time. It interrupts the flow of what you’re trying to accomplish, and it undermines your productivity. The bottom line is that connecting is everything when it comes to communication.

“You know when you don’t have a good connection on the phone, but how about when you’re communicating with people in person? Do you know when a connection has been made? Can you tell when the connection is starting to go bad? Can you identify when the ‘call’ has been dropped?”

He goes on, “Most people have an easy time knowing when the connection is good on the phone. But they have no idea if they’re connecting with others in other everyday situations.

“How do I tell? How do I know that I’ve connected with others? I look for the signs. When I interact with people, whether one on one, in a group, or with an audience, I know I’ve connected when I sense:

·      EXTRA EFFORT—people go the extra mile 
·      UNSOLICITED APPRECIATION—they say positive things 
·      UNGUARDED OPENNESS—they demonstrate trust 
·      INCREASED COMMUNICATION—they express themselves more readily
·      ENJOYABLE EXPERIENCES—they feel good about what they’re doing
·      EMOTIONAL BONDEDNESS—they display a connection on an emotional level
·      POSITIVE ENERGY—their emotional batteries are charged by being together 
·      GROWING SYNERGY—their effectiveness is greater than the sum of the contributions 
·      UNCONDITIONAL LOVE—they are accepting without reservation”

He then says, “Anytime I interact with people and I see evidence of these signals, I know I’m connecting. I’ve learned what it takes to connect with others, and I’ve learned to gauge when I’m succeeding.

“How are you doing when it comes to connecting? When you interact one on one with someone important in your life, do you receive these signals? When you lead a meeting or attend a group function, are these connecting characteristics evident? When you speak to an audience, do you connect with them in such a way that you’re not only effective at communicating, but it’s also a highly enjoyable experience for you and them? If you can’t answer these questions with a resounding yes, then you need to improve your ability to connect with people. Everyone talks. Everyone communicates. But few connect. Those who do connect take their relationships, their work, and their lives to another level.”

And that is what we want, isn’t it? 

Yes, yes!

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