A thought by John C. Maxwell from his
book, Everyone Communicates, Few Connect.
HarpersCollins Leadership Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to
Amazon.com to buy the book.)
So why does it frustrate you?
John says, “Being disconnected wastes
your time. It interrupts the flow of what you’re trying to accomplish, and it
undermines your productivity. The bottom line is that connecting is everything
when it comes to communication.
“You know when you don’t have a good
connection on the phone, but how about when you’re communicating with people in
person? Do you know when a connection has been made? Can you tell when the
connection is starting to go bad? Can you identify when the ‘call’ has been
dropped?”
He goes on, “Most people have an easy
time knowing when the connection is good on the phone. But they have no idea if
they’re connecting with others in other everyday situations.
“How do I tell? How do I know that
I’ve connected with others? I look for the signs. When I interact with people,
whether one on one, in a group, or with an audience, I know I’ve connected when
I sense:
·
EXTRA EFFORT—people
go the extra mile
·
UNSOLICITED
APPRECIATION—they say positive things
·
UNGUARDED
OPENNESS—they demonstrate trust
·
INCREASED
COMMUNICATION—they express themselves more readily
·
ENJOYABLE
EXPERIENCES—they feel good about what they’re doing
·
EMOTIONAL
BONDEDNESS—they display a connection on an emotional level
·
POSITIVE ENERGY—their
emotional ‘batteries’ are charged by being together
·
GROWING SYNERGY—their
effectiveness is greater than the sum of the contributions
·
UNCONDITIONAL
LOVE—they are accepting without reservation”
He then says, “Anytime I interact
with people and I see evidence of these signals, I know I’m connecting. I’ve
learned what it takes to connect with others, and I’ve learned to gauge when
I’m succeeding.
“How are you doing when it comes to
connecting? When you interact one on one with someone important in your life,
do you receive these signals? When you lead a meeting or attend a group
function, are these connecting characteristics evident? When you speak to an
audience, do you connect with them in such a way that you’re not only effective
at communicating, but it’s also a highly enjoyable experience for you and them?
If you can’t answer these questions with a resounding yes, then you need to
improve your ability to connect with people. Everyone talks. Everyone
communicates. But few connect. Those who do connect take their relationships,
their work, and their lives to another level.”
And that is what we want, isn’t
it?
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