Skip to main content

“As a general rule, the harder you work to control things, the more you lose control.”


A thought by John Ortberg from his book, The Me I Want to Be (p. 71). Zondervan. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.)

But I thought to try harder is always what we need to do.

John says, “The harder you try to hit a fast serve in tennis, the more your muscles tense up. The harder you try to impress someone on a date or while making a sale, the more you force the conversation and come across as pushy. The harder you cling to people, the more apt they are to push you away.

“Sometimes trying harder helps. It can help me clean my room, push through phone calls I need to make, or run another lap. But for deeper change, I need a greater power than simply ‘trying harder’ can provide. Imagine someone advising you, ‘Try harder to relax. Try harder to go to sleep. Try harder to be graceful. Try harder to not worry. Try harder to be joyful.’”

He goes on, “Often the people in the Gospels who got into the most trouble with Jesus were the ones who thought they were working hardest on their spiritual life. They were trying so hard to be good that they could not stop thinking about how hard they were trying. That got in the way of their loving other people.”

John later says, “If trying harder is producing growth in your spiritual life, keep it up. But if it is not, here is an alternative:  Try softer...

He goes on, “Trying softer means focusing more on God’s goodness than our efforts. It means being more relaxed and less self-conscious. Less pressured. When I try softer, I am less defensive, more open to feedback. I learn better. I stay patient if things don’t turn out the way I expected. It means less self-congratulation when I do well and less self-flagellation when I fall down. It means asking God for help.

“When I am trying too hard, I cannot stop thinking how nobly I’m behaving. When I take even one step toward growth, my very next thought will often be pride at my goodness — which of course moves me two steps back. True growth always goes in the opposite direction of self-righteousness.”

Earlier he said, “A river of living water is now available, but the river is the Spirit. It is not you.

“The contemplative Franciscan priest Richard Rohr puts it like this: ‘Faith does not need to push the river because faith is able to trust that there is a river. The river is flowing. We are in it.’

“Don’t push the river.”

Let’s quit trying so hard and let’s reach out to the Holy Spirit?

Yes, yes!

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

“Hurry and love are incompatible.”

A thought by John Mark Comer from his book, The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry (p. 23). The Crown Publishing Group. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.) Wow, pretty strong thought isn’t it? John says, “All my worst moments as a father, a husband, and a pastor, even as a human being, are when I’m in a hurry—late for an appointment, behind on my unrealistic to-do list, trying to cram too much into my day. I ooze anger, tension, a critical nagging—the antitheses of love. If you don’t believe me, next time you’re trying to get your type B wife and three young, easily distracted children out of the house and you’re running late (a subject on which I have a wealth of experience), just pay attention to how you relate to them. Does it look and feel like love? Or is it far more in the vein of agitation, anger, a biting comment, a rough glare? Hurry and love are oil and water: they simply do not mix.” He goes on, “Hence, in the apostle P...

"Lie 2: The more you worry about it, the better your odds of avoiding it."

A thought by Louie Giglio in his book,   Winning the War on Worry    (p. 5). Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon to buy the book.) Here is another lie that the Enemy uses with us. And Louie says, "This is a tricky lie. Yes, we often have cause for concern and preparation. But the Enemy wants you to believe that if you worry or fret over a certain outcome long enough, you can keep something bad from happening." But this is so important to realize. He says, "The reality is worrying has never once prevented something negative from happening. Planning might. Prayer has. But worry never will." He continues, "The Enemy tells you that by worrying about a situation (or every situation) you can make your tomorrow better. Really, worry just robs you of today. Jesus implored us: 'I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body mor...

“The gospel is good news, not good advice.”

A thought by Timothy Keller (2016-10-25) from his book, Hidden Christmas: The Surprising Truth Behind the Birth of Christ (p. 21). Penguin Publishing Group. Kindle Edition. (Click on the title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.) I’m glad you stopped to catch a glimpse of what this thought really means. Tim says, “Advice is counsel about what you must do. News is a report about what has already been done. Advice urges you to make something happen. News urges you to recognize something that has already happened and to respond to it. Advice says it is all up to you to act. News says someone else has acted.” He then gives an illustration, “Let’s say there is an invading army coming toward a town. What that town needs is military advisers; it needs advice. Someone should explain that the earthworks and trenches should go over there, the marksmen go up there, and the tanks must go down there.”   That’s advice He goes on, “However, if a great king has intercepted and ...