Just Continue That Thought...

A thought by Chad Veach from his book,  I Work with People   (p. 51). Baker Publishing Group. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon to buy the book.) It does a lot of things but adding worth to you isn't one of them. Chad says, "Believing you have nothing to prove stems from the assurance that whether you succeed or fail, your value as a person remains unchanged. This goes back to understanding the source of your worth, which is your identity as a person, independent of anything else. Your work might be incredible, or it might be terrible, but neither would change your value. Therefore, you don’t have to prove your worth to anyone. You should do your work as well as you can, of course, for multiple and obvious reasons. But your work is not a verdict about your worth." But he goes on, "You have something to offer, and you add value wherever you go. Maybe you don’t hear a lot of gratitude from those you are helping, but that doesn’t change the fact t

A thought by Chad Veach from his book,  I Work with People   (p. 50). Baker Publishing Group. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon to buy the book.) This is another important belief you can use to counter the self-defeating self-talk, and it is worth repeating to yourself regularly. Chad says, "I once heard someone say, 'I’ve decided to believe that everyone likes me unless they tell me otherwise.' I think that’s a wise philosophy. It’s so easy to take every sideways comment or joke as proof that yet another person is against you. Remember the old nursery rhyme, 'Nobody likes me, everybody hates me, guess I’ll eat some worms'? Don’t adopt that as a leadership philosophy. Or a diet, for that matter. Even mean people are rarely trying to be your enemy: actually, they probably don’t think about you that much. If you can give them and others the benefit of the doubt, they may eventually become your friends." To say it a little differently, I li

  A thought by Chad Veach from his book,  I Work with People   (p. 50). Baker Publishing Group. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon to buy the book.) It really is. Chad says, "When I wrote my book Unreasonable Hope , my agent gave me some wise advice. She said I would see many online reviews, and most would be positive. But, she cautioned, a few would be negative, and those would be the ones that would stick with me. 'Don’t let a few critics discourage you,' she said. 'Remember, there are more people for the book than against it.' Her warning helped me keep my emotions and thoughts in check over the next few months, because it is human nature to fixate on the negative over the positive—even when the feedback we receive is primarily positive. As a leader, remind yourself that more people are for you than against you. More people are on your side, more people want you to succeed, more people believe in you and trust you. Don’t let a few critics a

  A thought by Chad Veach from his book,  I Work with People   (p. 47). Baker Publishing Group. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon to buy the book.) Having confidence is so very important in life. Chad says, "As a parent, I try to build my son’s confidence whenever I can. Every day when I drop him off at preschool, I tell him three things I love about him, and they are nearly always identity things: 'I love how confident you are. I love that you are kind to people. I love your sense of humor.' He always gets a cute little smirk on his face when I begin, but I can tell he loves it. Sometimes we’ll even talk for a few seconds about what those phrases mean and what they look like practically. I know that if he shows up to class confident, it will affect his entire day: how he does in class, how he relates to his friends, how he tackles new areas of learning, how he handles his mistakes, and how he stands up to potential bullying or criticism." He go

  A thought by Chad Veach from his book,  I Work with People   (p. 46). Baker Publishing Group. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon to buy the book.) Yes you! Chad says, "You have influence. You have something to say, something to give, something to contribute. Your I ams need to be louder than your I am nots . I am wanted. I am valuable. I am here for a reason." He goes on, "I was fortunate enough to grow up in a home that instilled life-giving truths in me. I am forever grateful that my mother spoke words of affirmation to me throughout my youth. She said things like, 'Everyone wants to hear what you have to say. Every room you walk into is better because you are there.' It gave me such confidence, such an advantage in leadership, and it shaped my self-perception in positive ways." He continues, "Dr. Shad Helmstetter, author of the bestselling book What to Say When You Talk to Your Self , has done extensive research on the ro

  A thought by Chad Veach from his book,  I Work with People   (p. 43). Baker Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.  (Click on the book title to go to Amazon to buy the book.) So what is th difference? Chad says, "Along with 'shame resilience,' I’d like to suggest we add 'fame resilience' to our arsenal. Fame, which includes any form of widespread recognition and praise, can be just as damaging as shame. "That is the only way to stand strong against the condemnation and criticism, the flattery and celebrity, that come with leadership. Leading is not easy. But without a solid sense of identity and self-worth, it’s virtually impossible." He goes on, "Just to clarify, loving yourself is not the same as idealizing yourself or making yourself the center of the universe. The word for that kind of behavior is narcissism —and narcissism and leadership don’t play well together. There is a difference between self-worship and self-love." "When you love yo

A thought by Chad Veach from his book,  I Work with People   (p. 40). Baker Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.  (Click on the book title to go to Amazon to buy the book.) Have you found that to be true? Chad says, "Everyone has issues. No debate there. When it comes to leading fallible people, most leaders know that they have to show mercy and grace, give people space, believe the best about others, and focus on potential as well as problems. But how do we as leaders treat our own fallible selves? Do we show ourselves the same grace we extend to others? This is important because we can’t lead ourselves unless we love ourselves." He goes on, "If you’re anything like me, love and grace are probably not your first reactions when you come face-to-face with your failures or weaknesses. My first response is often shame. I feel embarrassed. I hope no one notices or gets hurt. On the one hand, it’s normal to feel embarrassed, but I also know that embarrassment can quickly escalat