Just Continue That Thought...

A thought by John Townsend from his book, Loving People (p.27). Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.) It really is but is that true love? John says, “One of the most important realities of the nature of love is that the ‘lovability’ of the other person is ultimately irrelevant. Said another way, the more we require that the other person be lovable in order for us to care, the less loving we are. The converse is also true: the less we require the person to be lovable, the more loving we are.” He goes on, “This is not an easy reality, but it is true just the same. It is certainly much more natural to care about those who care for us. But what is natural is not always what is mature and what is best. For example, my friend Donna is married to a man named Dylan, who can be quite self-centered and controlling. Dylan has been unkind to Donna, though he rarely admits or owns it when he does. He is not abusive or unfait

A thought by John Townsend from his book, Loving People (p.26). Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.) It makes a real difference. John says, “Research seems to indicate that not only is love a spiritual and a developmental matter, but there is also a hardwiring aspect to it. That is, scientists are beginning to tie in attachment and connection to biological and neurological structures and processes. They see a two-way street of interaction between relationships and how the brain develops. Relationships affect the brain, and vice versa. This is exciting research because it suggests that we are designed to connect relationally and personally, from our cells on up, and that relationships are a powerful force in how we grow and develop. “Neurotransmitters in the brain, as well as our hormones, are part of this research. For example, the brain chemicals dopamine, norepinephrine, and serotonin are being associated with

A thought by John Townsend from his book,     Loving People (p.23). Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.) And, of course that is what we want and need, isn’t it? John says, “Henry Cloud and I conduct an intensive weeklong retreat for leaders several times a year in Southern California, called the Ultimate Leadership Workshop. In this setting, leaders from all aspects of leadership—from the corporate world to small business leaders to pastors, teachers, and ministry leaders—meet to develop their leadership capacities by dealing with their character issues, personality, and inner worlds.” He goes on, “I remember one recent workshop week in which I talked to Randall, a pastor who was a very task-oriented, driven, and somewhat obsessive person. He was intelligent and had good and clear motives and values, but he was stuck in the left side of his brain. When he interacted with others, his conversation tended to drift t

A thought by John Townsend from his book, Loving People (p.22). Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.) They are a part of love but not the only part. John says, “The value of seeking and doing the best for the other encompasses every part of us: our thoughts, feelings, behaviors, words, and decisions. Seeking and doing require intentional focus and outcomes. But we must use all parts of ourselves to achieve our goal. Jesus says we are to love God ‘with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength.’ (Mark 12:30) We use all those parts to best love God. And as a result, we use all those parts to best love people.” He goes on, “So loving people love emotionally, as well as in values and behavior, in the way God models his love for us. Our values and our emotions are linked in love. They cannot be separated, nor should they. A loving person without feelings cannot fully experience love’s power.

A thought by John Townsend from his book,     Loving People     (p.19). Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.) That is so right, isn’t it? He says, “When we love someone, we bend our heart, mind, and energies toward the betterment of someone else. That is what loving people do. It involves the whole person. It is ongoing and intentional. “This understanding of love. . . has to do with how we treat each other. That is, at its heart, love is a value . A value is something that forms the basis for who you are and how you run your life and relationships. People have values for their finances, such as conservative or aggressive investing values. They have values for their careers, such as concentrating on what they want to accomplish with their gifts and talents. And they have values for their spiritual lives, such as making God a central part of their lives and adhering to the tenets of their theology. Likewise, people

A thought by John Townsend from his book, Loving People (p.13). Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.) We were, we really were designed for love. John says, “This material is not about becoming someone you’re not. In fact, it is about becoming more of who you were truly meant to be. It is ultimately about the authentic part of you that God created. It may be buried way down inside, inaccessible, frozen, dormant, or undeveloped. But you have a God-given capacity to give and receive love, and you will be a better person when it begins to emerge and become part of your everyday life. There are specific skills you can learn in order to ‘do’ love, no matter what your background.” He goes on, “At this point, you may have an objection like this: Love isn’t a ‘how-to.’ That sounds artificial and forced. I can’t make myself feel and experience love by some act of the will. “This makes sense. We cannot force ourselves

A thought by John Townsend from his book, Loving People (p.3). Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.) The three words are, “ I love you .” John says, “Whether you are on the giving or receiving end of these words, they reach deeply into us and transform us. They remind us that love is one of the most important aspects of our lives, guiding our steps from our early years to our last days.” He goes on, “I recently took my wife and kids on a ski vacation during a school break. When it was time to return home, one of our sons wanted to stay longer to snowboard with friends. Austin, one of his best friends, was among them. We made arrangements for other parents to drive him home later that day, and my wife and I left with our other son. “That evening, our son called us and said that everything was a big mess. He misjudged his time and took off for one more ride down the mountain when it would have been better to m