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“Life and business involve pain.”

A thought by Henry Cloud, from his book, Necessary Endings (p. 53). HarperCollins e-books. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.) That is reality, isn’t it? Henry says, “Sometimes. . . creating an ending might cause a little hurt, like pulling a tooth. But it is good pain. It gives life to you or to your business. Similarly, the rosebush snaps back when it gets pruned. This book is about taking bold steps to embrace that kind of pain. “But there is another kind of pain, one that should not be embraced , one that you want to do everything in your power to end. The pain I am referring to here is misery that goes nowhere. That is not normal, and when it happens, it is time to wake up. It is time to realize that anytime pain is going nowhere fast, a few things must be occurring. “First, you might have become acclimated to the misery in some way. You have gotten so used to it that you no longer feel it as pain but view it as

“Endings are easier to embrace and execute when you believe something normal is happening.”

A thought by Henry Cloud, from his book, Necessary Endings (p. 43). HarperCollins e-books. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.) Your perspective and understanding are the keys. Henry says, “That lesson learned helps boards move founders into other roles and bring in seasoned management. They do not have to approach it as if the founder is failing. It helps CEOs make tough decisions also, knowing that they are aligning their business with the natural order that they see unfolding before them. It makes letting go of a long love affair with a product line or a brand possible. ” He goes on, “Blair implicitly believed in life cycles and seasons, and he saw that the long harvest that he had enjoyed for so many years was about to end. It was time to shut down and get out while the assets and revenues that were left still had some value. But more than capturing value from what was left, the real task was to get to a field that had s

“Life is composed of life cycles and seasons.”

A thought by Henry Cloud, from his book, Necessary Endings (p. 40). HarperCollins e-books. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.) We need to accept this and expect it. Henry says, “Nothing lasts forever. Even the ceremonial liturgy of marriage, a lifelong commitment, acknowledges an end on its first day, ‘till death do us part.’ Life cycles and seasons are built into the nature of everything. When we accept that as a fundamental truth, we can align our actions with our feelings, our beliefs with our behaviors, to accept how things are, even when they die.” “He says, “Each season also has its own set of activities. Spring is about sowing and beginnings. Where there is nothing but a waiting field, the farmer sows seeds in the expectation that they will take root and produce a harvest. “The tasks of spring include: •       Cleaning out what is left over from the winter’s dying plants; •       Gathering seeds; •       F

“Make the endings a normal occurrence and a normal part of business and life, instead of seeing it as a problem.”

A thought by Henry Cloud, from his book, Necessary Endings (p. 38). HarperCollins e-books. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.) Making endings a normal part of business and life is so very important. Henry says, “Then and only then can you align yourself well with endings when they come. It has to do with your brain and how it works.” He continues, “If a situation falls within the range of normal, expected, and known, the human brain automatically marshals all available resources and moves to engage it. But if the brain interprets the situation as negative, dangerous, wrong, or unknown, a fight-or-flight response kicks in that moves us away from the issue or begins to resist it. Execution stops or automatically goes in the other direction. Put into the context of endings, if you see them as normal, expected, and even a good thing , you will embrace them and take action to execute them. You will see them as a painful gift. Bu

“…We only have a little time, let’s stay away from certain issues and focus on what we can do something about…”

A thought by Henry Cloud, from his book, Necessary Endings (p. 31). HarperCollins e-books. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.) Here is a practical, personal application of this thought. Henry says, “If people could learn to say things like, ‘We only have a little time, let’s stay away from certain issues and focus on what we can do something about,’ or ‘Let’s use our time in a good way,’ the resources of time and energy would be better spent.” He goes on, “In the personal realm, I have also taught this method to couples, and they see immediate changes. One couple reported back that they changed their weekly ‘date night’ as a result: “We used to take the time to have a date night every week, get a babysitter to spend time together apart from the kids. But, we would go out and end up talking about the kids, running the house, and all the things that we were trying to get away from. We lost the benefit of date night and we

“. . .the goal is not to cause pain for people.”

A thought by Henry Cloud, from his book, Necessary Endings (p. 23). HarperCollins e-books. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.) And it never should be. Henry says, “Here is a recent example I encountered in a coaching session with Ellen, a high-level executive in a multibillion-dollar company. She had recently earned a significant promotion that moved her from the ranks of management into a senior leadership position. As a result, she was now responsible for creating the organizational strategy she had previously just implemented. Ellen knew she faced some challenges in making the transition. ” Here is some of the conversation, “. . . she said. ‘For my entire career, I have had a practice. . . I always think about the people I manage and see them in their cars driving home from work. I picture the kind of mood they are in and want them to be up and enthusiastic about their day at the company, and I work hard to make those r

“Just like an unpruned rosebush, your endeavors will be merely average without pruning.”

A thought by Henry Cloud, from his book, Necessary Endings (p. 18). HarperCollins e-books. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.) We don’t need to do any pruning in our lives if we accept our endeavors as being average. But do we want to be average?  By the way, what does it mean to be average? Henry says, “And here is the key point: by average, I don’t mean on an absolute basis. There is nothing wrong with being in the middle of the bell curve in many aspects of life, as that may be what success is for that person or at least that dimension of life. I have friends who own small businesses of less than average size in their industry or by other measurements, yet they have a fully maximized, thriving enterprise for what it is and is supposed to be. Hundreds of employees and tens of millions of dollars is a great rose of a business and a life for what their talents, dreams, and opportunities consist of. Not the size of Microsoft pe