Just Continue That Thought...

A thought by Mike Bechtle from his book, People Can't Drive You Crazy If You Don't Give Them the Keys (p. 43). Baker Publishing Group. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.) That’s a good question.   Can I change?   Can you change? Mike says, “The simple answer is yes—people can change. No matter how long they’ve been a certain way, there is always hope. People can grow and change as the currents of life take them in new directions. We don’t want to throw up our arms and say, ‘It’s hopeless. They’ll never change.’ We might be the catalyst in that person’s life, influencing them to become more than they currently are. “The bigger question is, “ Will they change?” There’s no simple answer for that one because we don’t know what choices they might make in the future. There is always hope, but there are never guarantees. If we’re going to avoid becoming victims of other people’s craziness, it’s critical to operate from a dua

A thought by Mike Bechtle from his book, People Can't Drive You Crazy If You Don't Give Them the Keys (p. 42). Baker Publishing Group. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.) Here is the rest of the thought.   Mike says, “When we confuse the two, we set ourselves up for frustration.”   And that is where so many people are today. He goes on, “For instance, I can choose the color of the car I purchase, but I can’t control if someone else likes it or not. I can control the choices I make in raising my kids, but I can’t control the choices they make as they move toward adulthood. “When we see people we care about making bad choices, we want to fix them so they’ll make good choices. But what happens when they don’t? “It’s unhealthy to be at the mercy of what someone does or doesn’t do. We can’t control the choices and attitudes of others. The only thing we really have control over is our own choices and attitudes. When we ta

A thought by Mike Bechtle from his book, People Can't Drive You Crazy If You Don't Give Them the Keys (p. 36). Baker Publishing Group. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.) Now that makes sense, doesn’t it? Mike says, “The more drama there is, the more uncomfortable we are. In an effort to get back to our set point, we usually assume one of the three options we talked about in chapter 1: Convince the crazy person to change. Live with the craziness. Get the crazy person out of our life.” Now he had dealt earlier with the matter of set point.   He said, “Once we trust that person and have a relationship, we get comfortable. The river grows deeper and moves faster. We develop our ‘set point’ where the relationship works well. We have unspoken expectations of what the relationship will be like.” He goes on, “The first option is worth considering but is often unrealistic. If we put all our hopes on another person changing