"My dad had a terrible habit."

 

A thought by Andy Stanley from his book, Better Decisions, Fewer Regrets (p. 1). Zondervan. Kindle Edition.  (Click on the book title to go to Amazon to buy the book.)

I'm sure every child thinks this to be true.

Andy says, "I thought it was terrible, anyway. 

"He wouldn’t tell me what to do. 

"Specifically, he wouldn’t tell me what to do when I didn’t know what to do and wanted him to tell me what he thought I should do."

He goes on, "True, most kids don’t want their parents telling them what to do. And I was like most kids most of the time. But on occasion, I wanted him to tell me what to do. And he wouldn’t. Worse, instead of answering my questions, he asked me questions! His go-to question was: What are you going to do when I’m not around to tell you what to do?

"My go-to response was: But you are around, so tell me!

"Clearly, his response did not indicate a lack of interest on his part. Just the opposite. As it turns out, I employed the same strategy with my kids . . . or tried to anyway. Maybe one day they’ll write a book about it."

He continues, "His go-to question wasn’t his only question. During middle school and high school, his arsenal of questions included one of the five we will explore later: What is the wise thing to do? As a teenager, that pesky question usually eliminated most of my preferred options. But when I leaned in, it eliminated unnecessary regret as well.

"What I didn’t appreciate then, that I most certainly appreciate now, was why. Why all the questions? Why not just tell me what he thought I should do? The reason was simple. He was teaching me how to make decisions. Good decisions. He started early. Maybe too early. But to his credit and my advantage, he started when the stakes were low."

He then says, "Perhaps unbeknownst to him, my dad was teaching me something else as well. That something else is the point of this little book. By opting for questions over direction, my dad connected two important dots for me. Dots many folks never connect. He helped me make the connection between good questions and good decisions. To tease that out a bit, he helped me make the connection between well-placed, appropriately timed, thought-provoking questions and good decision-making. Simply put:

 "Good questions lead to better decisions.

"And better decisions lead to fewer regrets."

And that is what we want, really want isn't it?

Yes, yes!