"Our decisions determine the direction and quality of our lives."

A thought by Andy Stanley from his book, Better Decisions, Fewer Regrets (p. 8). Zondervan. Kindle Edition.  (Click on the book title to go to Amazon to buy the book.)

And direction and quality are what we want.

Andy says, "Our decisions determine the direction and quality of our lives. Your decisions have shaped the direction and quality of your life so far—for good and for . . . well, maybe not so good. You are where you are for the most part because of decisions you’ve made.

"So yeah, it’s your fault. I thought we should get that out of the way up front. But it’s not all bad news.

"Regret and disappointment aren’t the only things spilling out of your decision pipeline. Your greatest joys and accomplishments are as well. Moral of the story: regardless of how things are going or have gone, you are responsible for you. You get to write the story."

He goes on, "If you’re like most people, you would like to go back and unmake a few decisions—the decisions that led to the chapters of your life you wish you could go back and unlive. Or relive. Perhaps you emerged from that not-so-glorious season of life committed to making better decisions in the future. Perhaps you have. Oddly enough, most people don’t.

"Most people don’t learn from bad decisions because they’re convinced their bad decisions were somebody else’s fault. So, as long as they stay away from 'somebody else,' no real change is required on their end. You’ve seen that. It’s easy to see when it’s somebody else. It’s practically impossible to see it in the mirror."

He continues, "If you think back to the last decision you’d like to unmake, you won’t have to think back too far. The breakfast you skipped. The lunch you ate. The CrossFit class you didn’t attend. Again. The bed you left unmade . . . that leaves someone else feeling like your maid. Low-impact decisions for sure, but decisions you participated in. In fact, you were there for all your bad decisions . . . and the good ones as well. But you’re not reading a book about decision-making because you’ve conquered the beast. So . . . back to your latest not-so-great decision."

Andy says, "One reason we don’t learn from experience, in spite of our intelligence, is that decision-making is heavily influenced by something more than past experiences or even the past experiences of others. Our decisions are heavily influenced by our emotions and our appetites. Research suggests we aren’t able to make decisions apart from our emotions. Experience confirms our appetites often overrule our intelligence. Otherwise nobody would have to remind us to exercise and eat right.

"Decisions are never made in an emotionally neutral environment. When it comes to decisions pertaining to you, there are no emotionally neutral environments. This is why it’s often easier for you to know what your neighbor, spouse, or partner at work should do than what you should do. This is why we say things like, 'Easy for me to say.' Or when talking to our kids, 'Do as I say, not as I do.' Which never works.

He then says, Both statements are admissions that we know better than we do, which flies in the face of both intelligence and experience. But again, our decisions are governed by forces stronger than either. Knowing the intelligent thing to do in no way ensures we do what’s intelligent. Knowing the right thing to do doesn’t guarantee anything."

And that is so true, isn't it"

Yes, yes!