A thought by Bob Goff, from his book, Dream Big (Kindle Locations 1184). Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.)
It really can!
Bob says, “I try to find reminders about the power we can experience together everywhere. When we’re in Canada, we see thousands of sea otters drifting along on the top of the water in the inlet. They’re everywhere—kind of like Priuses. Did you know sea otters hold hands while they’re floating? It looks a lot like they’re going out on dates with each other. After seeing so many sea otter couples drifting two by two through the water, I figured there had to be some reason for the hand holding. I dug a little deeper and it turns out the answer is simple: they don’t want anyone to drift away.
He goes on, “As you pursue your ambitions, you’re going to need some hands to hold and some friends to love so you don’t drift off into the open waters. In other words, you’re going to need a community if you want to achieve something outrageous with your life. If we want to build an authentic community, we’ve got to do a better job getting to know each other.
“Did you know a handful of sand has about four hundred thousand grains in it? I haven’t counted, but Wikipedia wouldn’t lie to me. If you live for ninety- two years and have twelve conversations a day, that’s about four hundred thousand conversations in a lifetime. How many of these do you want to spend talking about the weather? We’ll meet a lot of people in a lifetime, but how many will we truly get to know? If you want to narrow the gap between you and your ambitions, try going a little deeper with the people you encounter and definitely with the people God has already placed closest to you.
“Try to have twelve real conversations a day. Not How are you doing? or Where do you work? or What team are you cheering for? Start with the fourth, fifth, and sixth questions. Here are some examples. Who are you? What are the things you want in life? How is it really going? Go to questions like What was the high and low for you this week or this month? When was the last time you felt lonely? When was the last time you laughed so hard you peed yourself? Seriously, try it with your Uber driver or with the person next to you on an airplane. Elevators, too, I suppose. If you ask a stranger a considerate, authentic, and engaging question and are willing to match or exceed the vulnerability you’re pursuing, you will be absolutely amazed at the depth and richness you’ll discover just below the surface of their life. Be kind and respectful as you do this. Don’t try to go too deep too quick or you’ll just get the bends like an overeager scuba diver. Don’t settle for just treading water on the surface either.”
He then says, “We all spend a lot of time talking about surface things with each other. I get why. A cocktail of fear and politeness and insecurity keeps us there. If we’re going to carve a new groove in our brains and go Grand Canyon on them, we’re going to need to start doing a few things differently. We need to stop hiding behind our appearances and titles and accomplishments and successes. Keep this in mind: if you take away what you’re known for, whatever is left is who you are. Let’s be the kind of people who are more interested in who someone is instead of what they do.”
So, let’s be that kind of person and then we will really make a different in each other’s lives, won’t we?
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