A thought by Charles R. Swindall, from his book, What if…God Has Other Plans?: Finding Hope When Life Throws You the Unexpected (p. 171). Tyndale House Publishers, Inc.. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.)
So, let’s see what it is!
Charles says, “It works in most situations where not everyone agrees but where all desire harmony rather than conflict and strife. I suggest you memorize it and then put it into practice: In essentials . . . unity. In nonessentials . . . liberty. In all things . . . charity.
“All those who join our church, Stonebriar Community Church in Frisco, Texas, are united in the doctrinal essentials. But there are many other issues that are not essential. Members may not always agree with every jot and tittle of our policies and ministry strategies, but those are nonessentials. So, we have the liberty to have differences of opinion, as long as we support the overall ministry with humility and Christlike servanthood. But when we disagree and come to an impasse, we approach one another in the love of Christ.
“The legalist makes the mistake of seeing everything as essential. If you don’t agree with him or her, you’re judged. But there should be room for liberty in the nonessentials. That’s grace. You may prefer tattoos; I may not. You’re free to serve and worship in the church I serve if you have tattoos. Because that’s a nonessential. Quit making nonessentials essentials. Everyone will be better for it—your children, your grandchildren, your employees, the people you serve in your small groups, and certainly your neighbors and friends.”
He goes on, “Approaching all things with a loving spirit is a great way to run your home, by the way. Sometimes as parents and grandparents, we just need to lighten up. Is it worth losing your relationship with your kids or grandkids over their preference in music? Or about the length of their hair? Or because of the career they choose?
“If you want to live a lifestyle that is displeasing to the Lord and in conflict with the precepts and principles of His Word, that’s different. That’s serious. Those things fall into the category of essentials.
“But even in confronting those extremely sensitive matters, especially in the lives of teenagers, I urge you to search your heart. Don’t overreact. Don’t leave Bible verses on their skateboard or stuck to their iPhone! You will lose them—guaranteed. You may never get that relationship back. If you’ve already blown it, then confess your harshness to the Lord and ultimately wait for Him to provide just the right time to make amends with the person you hurt. But let time do its healing work. Don’t rush in. Show patience. Give them space and time to grow up. Trust me: you’ll never regret it.”
He then says, “In all you do, remember, choose love. Let love be your first thought—and your second, your third, and your last.
So, let’s with God’s help approach each other with a loving spirit. Will you strive to do that? Will you?
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