“Studies have proven that most of us develop our anger response as small children.”

A thought by Lisa Bevere, from her book, Be Angry, But Don’t Blow It (p.22) Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.)

Lisa says, “Patterns are established through positive or negative reinforcement. We learned what worked or got us attention, and we repeated it so often it became a habit.”

And habits can control us, can’t they?

She continues, “Some of you may have made the dangerous decision to go to bed angry in ignorance as I did as a child. Others of you may have known the truth yet chose your own wisdom. Still others of you don’t go to your bed angry at another individual. No, your anger is leveled at yourself. You go to sleep disappointed and upset with yourself and imagine by punishing yourself throughout the night you will awake changed and different. But this is not true. The nightly punishment will not be constructive but destructive.

“You are mistaken to think anger is only destructive when vented on others. When I wasn’t upset with my husband, I often was disappointed with myself. I would go to bed each night and recite a mental list of each and every failing from the day. I would beat myself up with it, whipping myself with the shame of any remembered mistake in an attempt to pay a penance for my infractions.”

She then says, “I am not saying that it is wrong to look back over your day and realize you have made mistakes or to wish you had done things differently. It is healthy to allow the Holy Spirit to bring to your remembrance any grievous word or deed. But this is best accomplished in the stillness of your bed as you read your Bible or commune with the Lord in your heart. What I did, and what I am afraid many of you may do, was to berate myself in the night and then allow the weight of it to smother me as I slept. In the morning I would allow myself to pray and ask forgiveness, but by then guilt had such a stranglehold on me it was difficult to believe His mercy was new every morning.”

Oh, how we need to better understand how to resolve our anger and not to take it out on others and even ourselves, especially at night, don’t we?

Yes, yes!

Comments

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