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“Emotionally Strong People Do Not Allow Others to Control Their Relationships”

A thought by John C. Maxwell (2017-03-07) from his book, No Limits: Blow the CAP Off Your Capacity (p. 62). Center Street. Kindle Edition. (Click on the title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.)

I have been wandering this morning through three different books and this thought caught my attention.  Maybe it is something you need today. 

John says, “One of the ways that I can keep proper control of my life and not allow others to take that control is to understand that I wear different hats in my life: husband, father, friend, business person, and leader. The hat I have on determines the way I interact in the relationship. I’m continually making relationship choices throughout the day based on the hat I’m wearing.”

He goes on, “Recently I came across a story by psychologist Henry Cloud that illustrates the idea of different hats beautifully:

A man started a company and built it into a very large enterprise, and was planning to hand over the reins to his son at retirement. One day, he was walking through the factory and observed his son angrily berating an employee in front of other employees. He looked at his son and motioned for him to come to his office.

 ‘David,’ he began. ‘I wear two hats around here. I am the boss and I am your father. Right now, I am going to put my boss hat on. You’re fired. You are done here. I will not have that kind of behavior in my company and will not ever tolerate employees being treated that way. I have warned you about this kind of thing before, and you are still doing it. So, I have to let you go.’

 Then he said, ‘Now, I am going to put on my father hat.’ After a moment’s pause, he continued. ‘Son, I heard you just lost your job. How can I help you?’”

John then said, “Emotionally strong people honor their relationships while at the same time guarding against letting others control them, especially in difficult relationships.”


So, are you having a problem of control in one of your relationships?
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