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“There come times in every relationship when the issues are serious.”

A thought by James MacDonald (2015-06-18) from his book, Lord, Change My Attitude: Before It's Too Late (p. 150). Moody Publishers. Kindle Edition. (Click on the title of the book to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.)

You may then ask, what do I do when there is a serious issue?

James says, “Failure to take action will produce big fallout. In those instances, love does not sit passively by. ‘I love him, so I won’t upset him.’ Wrong! Love takes action on things that are major. You say, ‘What’s major?’”

James gives three guidelines to determine what are major things where love means taking action:

“1. Is this a critical path? If failure to take action will produce major fallout, biblical love is on the move. If it’s a major doctrinal error, a case of marital unfaithfulness, a criminal act, or an abusive behavior, please don’t collect stories for ten years and sit passively by. Step up! Get involved! Say something! Love takes action. If the person you love is involved in sin that could destroy him or someone else, it’s a critical path— it’s major— and therefore love will get involved.”

Then, “2. Is the problem chronic? If you see the same thing happening over and over, it doesn’t have to be big to get your love into gear. The Song of Solomon says it’s the ‘little foxes that spoil the vines’ (2: 15 NKJV). ‘Smaller things’ call for action, too, if they’re part of a chronic pattern. If you have observed a behavior repeated many times, it invites a loving response. A gentle word of correction can bear great fruit in the loved one’s life. To say to someone, ‘Is it possible that you have a problem with gossip?’ that is loving a person. So if you’re close enough to observe chronic patterns, you have to get involved. You have to step up. On the majors, love takes action.”

And, “3. Does your proximity imply responsibility? The third guideline after critical path and chronic problem is the factor of close proximity. How close are you to the situation? There are some things that we can live with in our neighbors and our friends, but we can’t live with in our spouse and our kids. Right? Your closeness to the situation may involve responsibility. For example, if I saw a friend making a purchase that I thought was unwise and wondered if he could afford it, I probably wouldn’t say anything, because that’s not really my business. But if I saw my wife doing that— or more likely, if my wife saw me doing that— it would be very appropriate for her to say, ‘We’re not buying that! We can’t afford that! That’s just going to give us problems down the road.’”


I hope this helps you if you are in a serious issue time with someone and you wonder if  in love, you should say something?
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