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“The test of love is that it gives even when there is no expectation of a return.”

A thought by John Ortberg (2015-05-05) from his book, Life-Changing Love: Moving God's Love from Your Head to Your Heart (p. 24). Zondervan. Kindle Edition. (Click on the title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.)

John shares a story by Anne Lamott. It was “of an eight-year-old boy who had a younger sister dying of leukemia. He was told that without a blood transfusion she would die. His parents asked if they could test his blood to see if it was compatible with hers. He said sure. They tested, and it was a match. Then they asked if he would give his sister a pint of his own blood, that it could be her only chance of living. He said he would have to think about it overnight. The next day he told his parents he was willing to donate the blood. They took him to the hospital; he was put on a gurney beside his six-year-old sister. Both were hooked up to IVs. A nurse took a pint of blood from the boy, which was given to his sister. The boy lay in silence as the blood that would save his sister dripped from the IV, until the doctor came over to see how he was doing. Then the boy opened his eyes and asked, ‘How soon until I start to die?’” Somewhere he had thought that by giving his blood he would die but after a night of thinking about it he decided to give it anyway because he really loved her.   

You see “the test of love is that it gives even when there is no expectation of a return.”  John says, “Giving is to love what eating is to hunger. Giving is how love expresses itself. ‘God so loved the world that he gave…’ begins the most familiar statement in Scripture. Giving is love with character. Without acts of servanthood, love has no skeletal structure, nothing to support itself.”

So much of what we call love today is Eros love.  John says, “Eros finds giving easy in the early stages. Cards and flowers and foot rubs flow effortlessly as the Nile. The early rush of feelings supports this. These feelings are a kind of emotional training wheels, but sooner or later they have to come off. Eros may give, but only when it expects a fair rate of exchange.”

But you see, “Love is never so fully love as when it gives.”  Not out of obligation, not out of expectation, but just because you really love them.  That is just what real love does.


So how is your love doing today?

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