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“Perhaps your marriage has become a desert experience.”

A thought by John Ortberg (2015-05-05) from his book, Life-Changing Love: Moving God'sLove from Your Head to Your Heart (p. 120). Zondervan. Kindle Edition. (Click on the title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.)

I know this is true of a lot of marriages.  It seems the romance is gone.  There just is no more emotion. 

John shares, “An elderly couple lies in bed. She is not satisfied with the distance between them. She reminds him, ‘When we were young, you used to hold my hand in bed.’ He hesitates, but in a few moments a wrinkled hand snakes across the bed and grasps hers. She is not satisfied. ‘When we were young, you used to cuddle right up next to me.’ More serious hesitation now. But eventually, with a few groans, he laboriously turns his body and cradles hers as best he can. She is not satisfied. ‘When we were young, you used to nibble on my ear.’ Loud sigh. He throws back the covers and bolts out of bed. She is somewhat hurt by this. ‘Where are you going?’ ‘To get my teeth.’” 

John then says, “It’s one thing to nibble on an ear when you’re young and in love and the air is filled with the scent of eau de something-or-other and nibbling is easy. It’s another thing to nibble when the ear doesn’t hear so well anymore and contains a hearing device, and the air is filled with the scent of Ben Gay, and you have to go get your teeth first.”

He says, “Perhaps your marriage has become a desert experience. You had hopes and dreams for it that haven’t come true, may never come true.”  He then asks some very pertinent questions,  “Will you be patiently obedient to God in your marriage? Will you love your spouse one day at a time? Will you love as wisely as you can, love when the props of romance or bubbling hormones or easy compatibility are kicked out from under you?” 

You need to see that even in your marriage there will be deserts.  Jesus was taken out to the desert to be tempted.  There are deserts and times of temptation in the desert but you do as Jesus did and not give in to those temptations.

It is so important for you to see as John says, “The desert is the place where you learn to obey when obeying is no longer easy. Therefore, it can be the place of great strengthening.”


So will you be patiently obedient to God in your marriage?
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