"Trying to change others is an exercise in futility."

A thought by John C. Maxwell, (2013-10-08) from his book, Sometimes You Win--Sometimes You Learn:Life's Greatest Lessons Are Gained from Our Losses (p. 190). Center Street. Kindle Edition.

As a retired Pastor I understand that. I can give people insights but I can’t get them to believe them and accept them and that frustration can change me for the worst.

John says, “For many years my life was filled with disappointments over other people’s unwillingness to grow. For years I waited for them, hoping for progress. Too many times I have hoped circumstances would change, only to be disappointed. Anything you try to change that is outside of your control will ultimately disappoint you.”

I love the illustration of taking your fist and pushing against your other hand. What happens? It pushes back. So what do you do? You don’t push. Another way to say it is, you change your attitude. Pushing doesn’t help but acceptance of the person not the action will go a long way.

Change your attitude from disappointment to understanding. That understanding can open up a door for communication but it will be closed as soon as condemnation walks in.

John goes on to say, “In controlling my own attitude and choosing to think correctly, I can minimize the negative effects of those around me who have bad attitudes. I can stop taking it personally when someone in my life won’t change. I can see opportunities where once I saw obstacles. And the best news is that, as author and speaker Wayne Dyer says, ‘When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at actually begin to change.’”

So what do you need to change?

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