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“Forgiveness and consequences are two different things. One does not override the other.”

A thought by Andy Stanley (2009-03-31) in his book, The Principle of the Path: How to Get from Where You Are to Where You Want to Be (p. 43). Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition.

There are times we do something to someone and then ask them to forgive us and expect there to be no consequences in what we have done.  We still need to ask forgiveness but we cannot expect that it does away with the consequences.

For an example, let’s say we smoked in front of our kids for 20 years and they started smoking but after they grew up we stopped.  We now have deep remorse about the influence we had in this area and we ask them to forgive us and they do.  But they still have the habit and they still have the potential for cancer.  The forgiveness is important but the consequences of our action are not done away with by our asking for forgiveness.  They may forgive you but they can’t do away with the consequences.

Now the key is not to use forgiveness to supersede responsibility or self-control.  For example, let’s say it is easy for you to say hurtful things to your mate.  You say things without thinking about the consequences but you are quick to ask for forgiveness as soon as you see their hurt.  The problem is this is a normal cycle in your relationship.  Instead of you getting to the place that you use self-control and don’t say hurtful things you keep hurting and asking for forgiveness.   You can see can’t you how old that can be to the other person?  What happens is their spirit starts to close up out of protection to the point that what you say doesn’t matter anymore.    But if you really ask for forgiveness and you strive to change your behavior, positive feelings can come back if they forgive you.  Forgiveness doesn’t override consequences
 
Now the opposite is also true.  If you are the person who has been hurt and the person has asked you to forgive them then the fact that you are hurt doesn’t supersede the fact that you are to forgive them.  Even if they do it over and over you must forgive them over and over for your own sake.  One important reason is because if you don’t forgive them then God won’t forgive you when you ask Him for forgiveness over and over.  Consequences don’t override forgiveness.

So let’s be responsible for our actions.  Whether you need to ask for forgiveness and strive to change your action or forgive them because of their action.


What about you?

Comments

  1. there was a time years ago when i hurt some one with my words on the base of misunderstanding,

    i was forgiven by the person but still have fear of the anger of god,

    ReplyDelete
  2. An important thing to realize is that if you ask God to forgive you He does and He also forgets what you have done. When He forgives you it is as if you haven't done it. As the Psalmist says He throws it into the sea of forgetfulness. I hope that helps, Baili.

    ReplyDelete

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