Just Continue That Thought...

A thought by Mike Bechtle from his book, Dealing with the Elephant in the Room: Moving from Tough Conversations to Healthy Communication (p. 34). Baker Publishing Group. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.) But to make it work we really need to know what we are doing. As Mike says, “If we don’t have the right tools, we’re limited in how far we can go.” He later says, “Anyone, regardless of their age, can add new tools to their communication toolbox. The first step is to recognize which tools are missing. That can be done by seeing where the pain is in relationships that current tools won’t handle. Then the search begins to find the tools that will do the job. “That means there’s hope. If we have the right tools, we can become effective in communication. It doesn’t mean every conversation will be perfect because we’re imperfect—and so are the people we communicate with. But with the right resources, we’ll be able to approach

A thought by Mike Bechtle from his book, Dealing with the Elephant in the Room: Moving from Tough Conversations to Healthy Communication (p. 32). Baker Publishing Group. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.) Yes, I’m sure that none of us like pain. Mike says, “When we feel it, we move away from it. When we touch a barbeque, we don’t say, ‘Ouch! That hurts. But I think I’ll keep my finger here for a while so I can really experience the pain.’ We pull our finger away and avoid touching it in the future. Hopefully, we learn from the pain. That’s a healthy response. “When things hurt, it’s a signal that something is wrong. We might try to ignore the pain, hoping it will just go away on its own. We might try to take medication to numb the pain so we don’t feel it as strongly. But when pain happens, the best response is to figure out what’s causing it. Pain should be a trigger that makes us think, ‘Okay, there’s a problem. Let’s work

A thought by Mike Bechtle from his book, Dealing with the Elephant in the Room: Moving from Tough Conversations to Healthy Communication (p. 29). Baker Publishing Group. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.) And that can be so important to us. Mike says, “So when the elephant gets bigger and smellier, we don’t want to spoil that image. That’s exhausting because it takes a lot of energy to pretend that we’re okay when we’re not. We’re not being honest about the elephant, which means we don’t deal with it. We’re embarrassed to admit that we need help because we feel shame. “That’s why we don’t want to make a doctor’s appointment until we’ve lost weight and started exercising regularly. We feel shame and want to solve the problem ourselves to show we’re in control. But hiding the problem from others makes it almost impossible for us to get help. We don’t talk about it. We sequester the elephant in the bedroom when people visit, tryi