Just Continue That Thought...

A thought by Mike Bechtle from his book, People Can't Drive You Crazy If You Don't Give Them the Keys (p. 48). Baker Publishing Group. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.) And that is so true? Mike says, “I say, ‘It’s going to be hot today.’ I grew up in Phoenix, so ‘hot’ means a dry 117 degrees. But if you’re from Atlanta or Anchorage, ‘hot’ takes on an entirely different meaning. “I’m looking through my lenses in a conversation. I know what I’m thinking (117 degrees), and I listen to you through those lenses, assuming that we’re on the same page. I’m listening to you, but it’s from my point of view.” He then says, “Here’s the problem: We’re both doing the same thing. “If both of us are assuming that we understand what the other person means with their words, we’re both going to be wrong. We see our side clearly and wonder, ‘It’s so obvious—why don’t they get it?’” He goes on, “The solution is to look throug

A thought by Mike Bechtle from his book, People Can't Drive You Crazy If You Don't Give Them the Keys (p. 47). Baker Publishing Group. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.) And we don’t like discomfort, do we? Mike says, “When we decide what a person is like during our first contact with them, we assume it’s accurate. We form those first impressions quickly, and we believe them to be true. “The problem is that we’re evaluating the person from a one-sided perspective. We don’t know their perspective, so we assume it’s the same as ours. It’s like we’re looking at things through our own lenses—our background, culture, education, experience, language. But the other person is doing the same thing, assuming that we’re thinking the same way they are. So, we both end up with unrealistic expectations of what the relationship will be like. He goes on, “Have you ever believed something about someone and then gained new informati

A thought by Mike Bechtle from his book, People Can't Drive You Crazy If You Don't Give Them the Keys (p. 46). Baker Publishing Group. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.) Now that is a fact that we want to live but it can be so difficult to do. Mike says, “What can we control? Ourselves . What can we not control? Everything else . “Our frustration comes from trying to control people and circumstances that are out of our realm of control. The key to surviving crazy people is to determine what we have control over and put our energy there. We can’t change others, but we influence them when we change ourselves.” He later says, “Have you ever been angry with someone and couldn’t let it go? Maybe you were hurt in a relationship years ago and haven’t seen the person since. But you’re still living as a victim of that person’s behavior. “Holding anger toward someone in that way is like taking poison and expecting the ot