Just Continue That Thought...

A thought by Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend from their book, It's Not My Fault . (pg. 45) Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.) Maybe it has been a while since you have heard these two words.   John says, “The active voice connotes that someone is doing something; the passive voice indicates that something is being done.”   Ok, that is what they mean. John says, “They just convey different realities. But the problem comes when people use passive language to explain their choices in such a way that they disown responsibility, ownership, and empowerment . They have selected a way of thinking and communicating to others that hampers their ability to take charge and take action to get what they need.” He goes on, “Let’s look at some examples of using passive language, and how it could be recast in ways more helpful in meeting your goals:   “• I was prevented from getting to the meeting on time by t

A thought by Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend from their book, It's Not My Fault . (pg. 42) Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.) John says, “It is literally can’t do thinking. In this mentality, people feel unable to make any move to better their situation or reach their goal. They feel profoundly helpless. I can’t thinking simply shuts the door to opportunities, hope, and change. There is no recourse; nothing can be done and nothing can be different. “Now, certainly there are some can’ts in the world. Most of us can’t become NBA players, or Harvard professors, or Jack Welches. But the number of people endowed to achieve these goals is a tiny percentage of a tiny percentage of the population. There are a lot more cans than can’ts out there, but somehow for some people the can’ts seem to carry the day.” He says, “Actually, there is a certain relief in I can’t thinking. When people give up on a

A thought by Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend from their book, I t's Not My Fault. (pg. 39) Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.) Maybe this where you are.   Maybe you have said and believed t his statement. John says, “When facing an unreached goal, a relational opportunity, or a life problem that needs to be resolved, a person will often express some form of I’ve tried everything and nothing helps . That is to say, he believes he has tried everything, and there are no solutions. In his mind, he has exhausted all the possibilities for making changes, achieving dreams, and making improvements, and now he must resign himself to the reality that there is no hope for betterment. Nothing helps. “It is true that there are those times in which nothing does help, at least in the sense that you can’t undo the past. When a person you love dies, he is gone. When you get fired, you are not likely to get the job b

A thought by Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend from their book, It's Not My Fault . (pg. 36) Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.) And that can be a real problem. The guys say, “Your thinker sometimes thinks thoughts that have nothing to do with reality. This is despite the fact that your mind may be telling you that those thoughts are real, true, and accurate. “This is not easy for most of us to accept. And it’s no wonder, because all we have to think with is our mind, and most of the time, our mind operates as if its perceptions were true.” They go on, “The bad news is that while your thinker always tends to come across as sure, it may not always be accurate. The good news is that you can change that. You can help your thinker to think in more reality-based, perceptive, and helpful ways about you and your life. In fact, you, and only you can begin to think differently in ways that are best for yo