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"Too many people I know are too eager to get out of singleness."


A thought by Michael Todd, from his book, Relationship Goals (p. 46). The Crown Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.  (Click on the book title to go to Amazon to buy the book.)

And I have found that true too.


Michael continues, "When God said of Adam, 'It is not good for the man to be alone,' He didn’t mean it’s not good to be single. True, humans need to be involved in healthy relationships. In particular, nearly all of us crave to be intimate with someone else. But sex is not the only kind of intimacy, and marriage is not the only valuable season in our lifetime of relationships. The season of singleness is necessary—I’d dare say a priority—to anyone who wants to reach her relationship goals. Think about it: single was Adam’s first relationship status."

Michael says, "If you’re single, I’m sure many people and messages in this society have made you feel like you aren’t enough without a significant other. The pressure to find a mate seems intense and unyielding, and you feel it from all sides. You didn’t have a date to your best friend’s wedding last spring, and he’s been trying to fix you up with someone random ever since. People at your church whisper when you come around, 'She’s still single? What’s wrong with her?' Your parents keep pressuring you to hurry up and marry someone because they want grandkids while they’re still young enough to enjoy them.

"All of that can make you start to feel like maybe somehow, in your single state, you are less than. Being single can start to feel shameful. Your life seems incomplete or even like a failure.

"Worse, this kind of thinking can cloud your judgment until you find yourself rushing into relationships that don’t suit you, settling on someone—anyone—just to satisfy others and calm your fears or address your libido. But these types of hasty decisions have serious consequences. Our high divorce rate may have less to do with bad marriages and more to do with bad singleness."

He goes on, "Let me encourage you with this: your singleness may actually be the most important part of the relationship process. It’s not a curse. It’s an opportunity! It’s the best chance you’ll ever have to work on being uniquely you—original and distinct. A good period of singleness means learning to be a unique self. God wants you to enjoy this season of life in which you can become whole and complete on your own, apart from a spouse or partner.

"If you are single, don’t worry too much about dating and mating. That will come in its own time. Focus more on where you’re at. Your current status lets you work on getting to know God better and worship Him. Singleness is a chance to understand yourself better, too, work on your weaknesses, build on your strengths, and move toward fulfilling the purposes God is planting in your heart. Along the way, you can clarify your relationship goals so that you’ll be able to see it when the person comes along who is 'just right' for you, as Eve was for Adam.

"Even if you’re not single, this chapter is for you. Self-work is beneficial in all relationships... The more secure you are about your gifts, talents, and calling, the less you'll feel you have to prove."

He then says, "The truth of the matter is that you are worth discovering. Nobody can do it for you, and nobody will make you do it, but everybody benefits from it."

This is so important for us to see and share, isn't it? Yes, yes! #continuethought

 

 


 

 

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