"... singleness could be the most important time of your life..."

A thought by Michael Todd, from his book, Relationship Goals (p. 41). The Crown Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.  (Click on the book title to go to Amazon to buy the book.)

OK, this is very interesting.

Michael says, "Not many people I know are happy to live without a bf/gf, much less a h/w. But, actually, singleness could be the most important time of your life because it’s a prime time when God reveals to you who you are. You become self-aware. You find purpose. The future begins to come into focus. We’ve talked about how you have purpose before the person, and this is the phase when it happens.

"Many marriages aren’t whole because they have a lot of holes—secrets, pains, scars, fears, insecurities, and so on—that one partner is desperately hoping a spouse can fill. But what if each person had taken the time to heal and develop before they even met? Singleness is the time."

He goes on, "When you feel like you know yourself well enough and you’re walking with God, the next step is dating. But I’m not talking about recreational dating—just going out with anybody who attracts you or because you want to have fun or because you’re scared to be alone. If you do that, you give permission for anybody to walk in and out of your life. And then you end up putting yourself in a position to take your eyes off pleasing God. So, what I’m advocating is intentional dating—spending time with another in a God-honoring way to try to find out if that person is right for you.

"If you find somebody who is walking with God and the two of you want to get married, there should be an engagement. That’s the period of time when a couple are committed and planning toward their wedding, when they will enter into holy matrimony before God. It’s a good time to talk deeply and develop plans and lay a groundwork for your future life together."

He continues, "And then after engagement, there should be marriage. Marriage is different from hooking up or living together because it is a covenant relationship. I call marriage a sex container because, in God’s plan, it is the only relationship where sex should be taking place (and it should be taking place there a lot). Of course there’s more to marriage than just sex. In fact, a marriage between a man and a woman who have godly relationship goals offers the best picture we have to understand the relationship between God and His beloved people.

"After marriage there should be love. Why would I say love after marriage? Well, have you read 1 Corinthians 13? Because I don’t know if you can truly do the type of stuff you have to do to really love somebody without sacrificing and giving up a lot for that person. I believe that you can like somebody a whole, whole bunch, but until you have to give to that person like Christ gave for the church—laid down His life in sacrifice—have you loved in the full manner?

"And then out of our love in marriage we may reproduce, if God gives us that blessing. Having children is a little echo of the Trinity’s saying, 'Let us make human beings in our image.' A married couple have a beautiful, reciprocating, complete love already between themselves, but out of the overflow of their love, they choose to produce new little human beings (diapers, teething, and 2:00 a.m. feedings included). And the relationship cycle starts again."

And then he says, "Every part of this process is good. Every part is appropriate. 'For everything there is a season' (Ecclesiastes 3:1). So, hear me now: Whatever relational season you’re in, don’t just be in it. Embrace it."

Does this make sense? It really does, doesn't it? Yes, yes! #continuethought

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