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“But sometimes keeping the peace is just conflict avoidance.”

A thought by Mark Batterson from his book, Play the Man: Becoming the Man God Created You to Be (p. 10). Baker Publishing Group. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.)

Here is how Mark says it, “I’m naturally a peacemaker, and that can be Christlike. But sometimes keeping the peace is just conflict avoidance. Yes, Jesus calmed the storm. But He also rocked the boat! Jesus didn’t avoid conflict; He often caused it. Why? Because Jesus knew that conflict, not comfort, is the catalyst for growth.

He goes on, “Orson Welles gives a famous speech in The Third Man: In Italy, for thirty years under the Borgias, they had warfare, terror, murder, and bloodshed— but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci, and the Renaissance. In Switzerland, they had brotherly love, they had five hundred years of democracy and peace, and what did that produce? The cuckoo clock. (The Third Man. Directed by Carol Reed. London: London Films, 1949.)  My apologies to Swiss readers, but I rest my case!”

He then says, “One of the biggest mistakes I made as a young leader was trying to make everyone comfortable, but in the long run that doesn’t do anybody any favors. I’ve since redefined my job description as a pastor. My job is to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable, and the latter is not less loving than the former. It’s more so!

“Afflicting the comfortable is tough love. It is so much easier to just avoid conflict, isn’t it? So we delay discipline, but in the long run that hurts more than it helps. Or we postpone tough conversations because we lack the emotional energy or courage. Tough love demands tough decisions, tough conversations.

“Jesus could have healed any day of the week, but He often chose the Sabbath. Why? Because He knew it’d be twice as fun! Why not kill two birds with one stone? Heal sick bodies while getting under the thin skin of the self-righteous Pharisees. Jesus knew it would get their goat, and that’s why He did it. He was goading them. And that’s what you do when you love someone. It’s called tough love.”

Tough love can be tough, can’t it? 


Yes, yes!
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