“Good communication doesn’t develop by itself.”

A thought by John C. Maxwell (2016-02-02) from his book, 3 Things Successful People Do: The Road Map That Will Change Your Life (p. 160). Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition. (Click on the title of the book to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.)

This is an important area that we men really need to work on. It really is. And also women.

John says, “An article in the Dallas Morning News reported that the average couple married ten years or more spends only thirty-seven minutes a week in meaningful communication. I could hardly believe it. Compare that to the fact that the average American spends almost five times longer than that watching television every day! No wonder so many marriages are in trouble. Just like anything else, good communication doesn’t develop by itself. It must be developed, and that process takes time and effort.”

He then gives some suggestions on how to exactly do that:

“• Develop platforms for communication. Be creative about finding reasons to talk to each other. Take walks together as a family where you can talk. Call your spouse a couple of times during the day. Meet for lunch one day a week. Offer to drive the kids to soccer practice so you can talk. Communication can happen almost anywhere.

• Control communication killers. The television, computer, and telephone probably steal the most family communication time. Restrict the amount of time you give them, and you’d be amazed by how much time you have to talk.

• Encourage honesty and transparency in conversations. Differences of opinion are healthy and normal in a family. Encourage all family members to speak their minds, and then when they do, never criticize or ridicule them.

• Adopt a positive communication style. Be conscious of the way you interact with your family members. You may have adopted a style that stifles open communication.”

He then says, “If you’re in the habit of using any communication style other than a cooperative one, begin working immediately to change. You’ll have to do that if you want to build your relationship with your family.

And that is what we want to do, isn’t it?

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