A
thought by John C. Maxwell (2015-10-06) from his book, Intentional Living: Choosing a Life That Matters (p. 123). Center
Street. Kindle Edition. (Click on the title of the book to go to
Amazon.com to buy the book.)
That is so
important to understand as a leader, as a parent and as a minister. I am a retired minister so that was important
for me to know.
John says, “When
I first started out in my career, I thought that helping people meant trying to
change them. So I made that my goal. I wanted to teach messages that would take
people to a higher place in their lives. I gave lots of advice. I was young and
idealistic. I didn’t yet understand that
people don’t change because you want them to. They change because they want
to, and it happens only when they’re ready to.”
Now of
course as parents we strive to encourage through different means the when they
are ready to. And that is a challenge
isn’t it?
John
goes on to say, “If we want to help others, then we must first help ourselves.
If we want to change the world, then we must change. People can’t be agents of
change unless they’ve gone through positive change themselves. I learned that I
had to travel within before I traveled without. In other words, I had to make
some changes in myself before I could expect to effect change in others. I
could not give what I did not have. If I wanted to see others transformed, I
had to be transformed. I had to do the hard work myself.”
And that is
so important to understand. He later emphasizes, “What needs to change are our hearts. What must transform are our
attitudes. What must be purified are our motives. We can’t allow our lives to
be all about us. That’s not the way to do something that makes a difference. If
we want to choose significance, we must put other people first.”
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