“My goal with relationships is no longer to try to change people.”

A thought by Brant Hansen (2015-04-14) from his book, Unoffendable: How Just One Change Can Make All of Life Better (p. 83). Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition. (Click on the title of the book to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.)

But I thought my purpose as a Christian is to change people.  Isn’t that why I am here?

Here is the whole thought by Brant, “My goal with relationships is no longer to try to change people. It’s to introduce people to a God who is already reaching toward them, right where they are.”

Brant goes on, “This changes everything. It means everyone is welcome, and not just theoretically, but really: everyone— no matter what their political or religious beliefs— is welcome in my home, at my table. I happen to be a pro-life, limited-government Jesus-follower. So you’re an atheist and a socialist who’s pro-choice and thinks Jesus is for losers? Fascinating! Say, how do you like your toast? Tell me more about your thoughts about Jesus and losers . . .”  That is so good.  It sounds a lot like Jesus doesn't it?

Brant then says, “Welcoming people into our lives isn’t ‘glossing over important issues.’ Refusing to be angry about others’ views isn’t conflict avoidance or happy-talk. It’s the very nature of serving people. I don’t pretend the differences aren’t there; I just appreciate that God has a different timetable with everyone. And yes, I’ve seen wonderful things happen as a result of this newfound patience with people, things like great conversations and changed lives. But that’s not even the point for me, because I’m not responsible for changing people’s lives. I’m responsible for faithfully loving them. As a believer, that means pointing them to a God who dearly wants them, and for whom I happen to know they yearn.”

He then says, “I don’t control anyone, because that’s God’s job. That’s His deal. I can just enjoy and love people. As I keep saying, I wish I would’ve known this sooner. I wish I could’ve seen the entire redemptive, narrative arc of the Bible, rather than cherry-picking a few bits that seemed, when isolated, to suggest disengagement with sinners. But the good thing is, I’ve finally learned: Don’t condemn the culture; redeem it.”  

Oh that we would catch this fact.  As Christ said on the cross, “Father forgive then because they don’t know what they are doing.”  He didn’t come to condemn them.  He came to die so we could be redeemed.    

So are you trying to change them or faithfully loving them?