Skip to main content

“My goal with relationships is no longer to try to change people.”

A thought by Brant Hansen (2015-04-14) from his book, Unoffendable: How Just One Change Can Make All of Life Better (p. 83). Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition. (Click on the title of the book to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.)

But I thought my purpose as a Christian is to change people.  Isn’t that why I am here?

Here is the whole thought by Brant, “My goal with relationships is no longer to try to change people. It’s to introduce people to a God who is already reaching toward them, right where they are.”

Brant goes on, “This changes everything. It means everyone is welcome, and not just theoretically, but really: everyone— no matter what their political or religious beliefs— is welcome in my home, at my table. I happen to be a pro-life, limited-government Jesus-follower. So you’re an atheist and a socialist who’s pro-choice and thinks Jesus is for losers? Fascinating! Say, how do you like your toast? Tell me more about your thoughts about Jesus and losers . . .”  That is so good.  It sounds a lot like Jesus doesn't it?

Brant then says, “Welcoming people into our lives isn’t ‘glossing over important issues.’ Refusing to be angry about others’ views isn’t conflict avoidance or happy-talk. It’s the very nature of serving people. I don’t pretend the differences aren’t there; I just appreciate that God has a different timetable with everyone. And yes, I’ve seen wonderful things happen as a result of this newfound patience with people, things like great conversations and changed lives. But that’s not even the point for me, because I’m not responsible for changing people’s lives. I’m responsible for faithfully loving them. As a believer, that means pointing them to a God who dearly wants them, and for whom I happen to know they yearn.”

He then says, “I don’t control anyone, because that’s God’s job. That’s His deal. I can just enjoy and love people. As I keep saying, I wish I would’ve known this sooner. I wish I could’ve seen the entire redemptive, narrative arc of the Bible, rather than cherry-picking a few bits that seemed, when isolated, to suggest disengagement with sinners. But the good thing is, I’ve finally learned: Don’t condemn the culture; redeem it.”  

Oh that we would catch this fact.  As Christ said on the cross, “Father forgive then because they don’t know what they are doing.”  He didn’t come to condemn them.  He came to die so we could be redeemed.    


So are you trying to change them or faithfully loving them?
Labels:

Comments

  1. ToniMarch 10, 2016 at 5:23 AM

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Bill WilliamsMarch 10, 2016 at 6:08 PM

    Thank you Toni. I hope the book is as meaningful to you as it has been to me.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

“There’s a big difference between building a castle and building a kingdom.”

A thought by Bob Goff from his book, Everybody, Always: Becoming Love in a World Full of Setbacks and Difficult People ( p. 41). Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.)   Have you ever built a sand castle or maybe a Lego castle?   Have you? Bob says, “We actually build castles all the time, out of our jobs and our families and the things we’ve purchased. Sometimes we even make them out of each other. Some of these castles are impressive too. Lots of people come to admire what we’ve built over the course of our lives and tell us what great castles we have. But Jesus told His friends we weren’t supposed to spend our lives building castles. He said He wanted us to build a kingdom, and there’s a big difference between building a castle and building a kingdom.” Bob goes on, “You see, castles have moats to keep creepy people out, but kingdoms have bridges to let everyone in. Castles have dungeons for people who ha...
Post a Comment
Read more

“When you understand that life is a test, you realize that nothing is insignificant in your life.”

A thought by Rick Warren, (2012-10-23) from his book, The Purpose Driven Life: What on Earth Am I Here For? (Purpose Driven Life, The) (p. 57). Zondervan. Kindle Edition. To realize that from God’s perspective life is a test goes a long way in determining how you handle your life.   It is important to see that in testing your character is both developed and revealed.   Rick goes on to say that “even the smallest incident has significance for your character development. Every day is an important day, and every second is a growth opportunity to deepen your character, to demonstrate love, or to depend on God.” So there is a God purpose behind each situation in your life.   Even the bad ones are there to strengthen you and develop you.   You see those bad situations are really good ones because they are there for your good. I start each day with a reminder that God is good.   Not every situation that is going to come in my day is good but because G...
Post a Comment
Read more

“What areas of my personality, background, and physical appearance am I struggling to accept?”

A thought by Rick Warren, (2012-10-23) from his book, The Purpose Driven Life: What on Earth Am I Here For? (Purpose Driven Life, The) (p. 35). Zondervan. Kindle Edition. Rick posed this question at the end of his chapter, You Are Not an Accident.   In this chapter he deals with the fact that God created you the way you are with a purpose.   In other words you are not an accident.   I am also reading the Apostle John’s view of Jesus and what He said and did while He was here on earth.   In the beginning of Chapter 9 there is a story about a blind man.   And the disciples who were with Him asked Him a good question, “Who sinned, this man or his parents that he was born blind? ”   Have you ever asked the same thing about something in you that you don’t like?   Like that characteristic is a curse or something.   Society has set a standard that is not a standard of God.   Remember, He created you and you are not an accident. Je...
Post a Comment
Read more