“Without recognizing our own emotions, we will be poor at managing them…”

A thought by Daniel Goleman; Richard Boyatzis & Annie McKee, (2013-07-23) from their book, Primal Leadership, With a New Preface by the Authors: Unleashing the Power of Emotional Intelligence (Kindle Locations 618-619). Harvard Business Review Press. Kindle Edition. (Click on the title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.)

In finishing the statement they say, “…and less able to understand them in others. Self-aware leaders are attuned to their inner signals. They recognize, for instance, how their feelings affect themselves and their job performance. Instead of letting anger build into an outburst, they spot it as it crescendos and can see both what’s causing it and how to do something constructive about it. Leaders who lack this emotional self-awareness, on the other hand, might lose their temper but have no understanding of why their emotions push them around.”

Know thyself is so important. At one point I realized that my moodiness was hurting me in my relationships. I was hard to be around. My wife, Margaret has said that if she really knew how moody I was she might not have married me. I’m glad for my sake she didn’t really know me but I eventually saw the problem and I determined to take control of it. I don’t believe I am as moody as I was but when I do see the signs I strive to do what I can to control them. And I do that by stopping and talking to myself about what could happen if I stayed in that mood and how I would like it if I saw it in someone else. I then stop being in the mood and change it. It is called self-awareness and self-control.

So what is your area you need to control?

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