“Both good and bad moods tend to perpetuate themselves.”

A thought by Daniel Goleman; Richard Boyatzis & Annie McKee, (2013-07-23) from their book, Primal Leadership, With a New Preface by the Authors: Unleashing the Power of Emotional Intelligence (Kindle Location 356). Harvard Business Review Press. Kindle Edition. (Click on the title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.)

I have found in my own approach to life, both of those to be true.  The people around me always were afraid of what mood I was in and usually it was a bad one.  Until I came to the place in my life that I realized that I was hurting myself and those around me with my bad moods and started striving to get control of my emotions and of my moods. 

Here is what the writers here say, “Both good and bad moods tend to perpetuate themselves, in part because they skew perceptions and memories: When people feel upbeat, they see the positive light in a situation and recall the good things about it, and when they feel bad, they focus on the downside.  Beyond this perceptual skew, the stew of stress hormones secreted when a person is upset takes hours to become reabsorbed in the body and fade away. That’s why a sour relationship with a boss can leave a person a captive of that distress, with a mind preoccupied and a body unable to calm itself: He got me so upset during that meeting I couldn’t go to sleep for hours last night. As a result, we naturally prefer being with people who are emotionally positive, in part because they make us feel good.”

Take that to heart.  Determine to be a person that uplifts people, who others want to be around.  How moody we are goes a long way in determining if we are going to be effective in our relationships or if we are going to be alone.  I choose to make a positive difference not a negative one.

Some would say, “That is just the way I am.  I can’t be anything else.”  I am one that decided that wasn’t the truth and I over time changed.   

How about you?