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“One of the most basic truths about love is that it can’t be forced.”


A thought by Kyle Idleman, (2011-05-24) from his book, Not a Fan: Becoming a Completely Committed Follower of Jesus (p. 135). Zondervan. Kindle Edition.

I love my son, Brett and my daughter, Stefanie.  I really do.  There is nothing that I wouldn’t do for them.  Now I know that they love me but in one sense there love for me was kind of forced on them.  I mean Margaret and I acted on a desire we had and nine months later they each were born.  It all happened through no chose of theirs.  They each woke up one day and there we were. 

But Margaret is difference.  She definitely chose to love me.  I wasn’t forced on her.  She didn’t have to love me, she just does.  Now there have been some difficult days in our life together but she still chooses to love me.  She doesn’t have to love me but she does and she didn’t have to marry me but she did.  I really do love her. 

Now Brett and Stefanie made their choices of loving Marissa and Andrew and making their lifetime commitments to them.  Brett’s love for Marissa and Stef’s love for Andrew wasn’t forced, it was given and a commitment was made for the rest of their lives.  Now I know that they love me but it is a different kind of love.

My love for Jesus isn’t also forced.  My parent’s where Christians but that didn’t mean that I was forced to be a Christian.  Oh I went to church every week and I never fought that.  That’s what we did in our home.  But one day I made a choice and a commitment to love and follow Jesus.  My love for Him wasn’t forced.  

I love Him because I choose to love Him.  It is a personal relationship with Him that I choose to have and it is something that He chose to have with me.  He loved me so much that He chose to die for me.  He didn’t have to do that for me just like Margaret didn’t have to die to other male relationship for me but she chose.   The best decision I ever made was to love and follow Him followed by my decision to ask Margaret to marry me.

Love is not forced upon me.  I still can chose to quit loving.  But I’m not going to stop loving Jesus and I’m not going to stop loving Margaret and the same is true of Jesus.   I know that.  No matter what I do, He will always love me but that may not be true with Margaret.  I could hurt her to the point that she could choose to quit loving me.  She still is not forced.  And I in no way must take her love for me for granted.   

Love is a choice.  I am so glad that Jesus chose to love me.  Now I can choose to quit loving Him and losing out on the relationship with Him.  I must never take for granted His love for me.  And I want to do all I can to show Him how much I appreciate that and how much I love Him.   

And I also need to remember that Margaret still has a free choice to love me.  I am so glad she does and I want so much to do all I can to let her know that I love her too. 

Remember love is not forced so are you taking someone's love for you for granted?
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