“The friend who holds your hand and says the wrong thing is more precious than the one who stays away and says the right thing or says nothing.”
A thought by Leonard Sweet, (2012-03-13) from his book, What Matters Most: How We Got the Point but Missed the Person (Kindle Locations 2647-2648). Random House, Inc.. Kindle Edition.
Actions do speak loader than words. There are some people who just don’t know how to say the right thing. I mean they really want to say that something that will encourage you in your tough time but they can’t but you know that they will be there whenever you need them.
There are others who walk in and say what needs to be said and then they are gone. They know what to say but then walk out.
There was a story in the New Testament of a Jewish guy who was robbed, beaten and then left for dead along the side of the road. A couple of very religious guys came by, maybe even said the right thing but then walked on the other side of the road and left him for dead. But then a Samaritan who was a part of a race who the Jews had problems with came by and stopped, put some oil on his wounds then carried him to a place and gave money to them to take care of him. He maybe didn’t know what to say but he did know what to do. You see, caring is more than saying, it is doing.
Being authentic is more than just saying the right words. I remember the day that my wife, Margaret was operated on for cancer. We were living in Las Vegas at the time and Doug who lived in Phoenix, Arizona came all the way to Vegas to sit with me during that very difficult day. He didn’t have to say anything. His actions showed he cared and that made a major difference in living through that difficult time.
Now what you say can really be insensitive, hurting and judgmental. What we say sometimes can be so wrong but our actions after saying hurtful words can either reinforce the hurt or help to heal it. Sometimes you just have to stop and ask them to forgive you even when what you said was the correct thing to say but not the right time. If we really care we will see the pain and want to do something to heal it.
So who has really been there for you?