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“I can’t thinking is the opposite of can do thinking.”

A thought by Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend from their book, It's Not My Fault . (pg. 42) Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.) John says, “It is literally can’t do thinking. In this mentality, people feel unable to make any move to better their situation or reach their goal. They feel profoundly helpless. I can’t thinking simply shuts the door to opportunities, hope, and change. There is no recourse; nothing can be done and nothing can be different. “Now, certainly there are some can’ts in the world. Most of us can’t become NBA players, or Harvard professors, or Jack Welches. But the number of people endowed to achieve these goals is a tiny percentage of a tiny percentage of the population. There are a lot more cans than can’ts out there, but somehow for some people the can’ts seem to carry the day.” He says, “Actually, there is a certain relief in I can’t thinking. When people give up on a...

“I’ve tried everything and nothing helps.”

A thought by Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend from their book, I t's Not My Fault. (pg. 39) Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.) Maybe this where you are.   Maybe you have said and believed t his statement. John says, “When facing an unreached goal, a relational opportunity, or a life problem that needs to be resolved, a person will often express some form of I’ve tried everything and nothing helps . That is to say, he believes he has tried everything, and there are no solutions. In his mind, he has exhausted all the possibilities for making changes, achieving dreams, and making improvements, and now he must resign himself to the reality that there is no hope for betterment. Nothing helps. “It is true that there are those times in which nothing does help, at least in the sense that you can’t undo the past. When a person you love dies, he is gone. When you get fired, you are not likely to get the job b...

“Your mind is not always telling you the truth!”

A thought by Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend from their book, It's Not My Fault . (pg. 36) Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.) And that can be a real problem. The guys say, “Your thinker sometimes thinks thoughts that have nothing to do with reality. This is despite the fact that your mind may be telling you that those thoughts are real, true, and accurate. “This is not easy for most of us to accept. And it’s no wonder, because all we have to think with is our mind, and most of the time, our mind operates as if its perceptions were true.” They go on, “The bad news is that while your thinker always tends to come across as sure, it may not always be accurate. The good news is that you can change that. You can help your thinker to think in more reality-based, perceptive, and helpful ways about you and your life. In fact, you, and only you can begin to think differently in ways that are best for yo...

“There’s one thing that people do not realize about excuses.”

A thought by Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend from their book, It's Not My Fault . (pg. 27) Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.) So, what is it, Bill? The guys say, “They are usually true.” They go on, “But my response to that is, So what? Yes, your excuse is real. Now, given that, what are you going to do about it? Your excuses do not change one single thing. It is up to you to do that. Get past the excuses and get on with it. “• It is true that you do not have time to work out. So what? What are you going to do about that ? “• It is true that you do not have a supportive church for your emotional issues. So what? What are you going to do about that? “• It is true that a particular person in your life is not giving you what you deserve. So what? What are you doing to do to deal with that? “• It is true that not one good, single eligible person is showing up at your door. So what...