Just Continue That Thought...

A thought by Mike Bechtle from his book, Dealing with the Elephant in the Room: Moving from Tough Conversations to Healthy Communication (p. 50). Baker Publishing Group. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.) We really do need each other.   We really do. Mike says, “Life was meant to be shared and finds its richest meaning in community. “When I’m traveling, something often moves me—a world-class sunset, an amazing meal, or just an experience that brings me joy. My first instinct is to think, ‘I wish Diane could see this.’ So I take a picture with my phone and send it to her so she can share the experience. More than once I’ve taken a picture of a meal I’m enjoying that makes me want to experience it with her by my side. “Roger was one of those independent people who said he didn’t need anyone else. ‘I can take care of myself,’ he would say. ‘Relationships are just too much of a hassle.’ But deep inside, he knew it was an excus

A thought by Mike Bechtle from his book, Dealing with the Elephant in the Room: Moving from Tough Conversations to Healthy Communication (p. 49). Baker Publishing Group. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.) We really do, don’t we? Mike says, “We need to know that somebody thinks we’re okay and they accept us as we are. We don’t have to ‘clean up’ for them. They know who we are, and they still value us. That is so true, isn’t it? He goes on, “Our early life experiences shape our views of ourselves. If the important people in our lives offered unconditional love, we felt valued. If we didn’t experience that kind of love, we felt unaccepted and unworthy. Those early experiences follow us throughout our lives and influence the way we relate to others. “Years ago, the book I’m OK, You’re OK quickly became a bestseller because people identified with the need for acceptance. When someone genuinely cares for us with no strings

A thought by Mike Bechtle from his book, Dealing with the Elephant in the Room: Moving from Tough Conversations to Healthy Communication (p. 49). Baker Publishing Group. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.) Growth is another of these unmet needs in relationships that cause problems. Mike says, “Growth is a natural part of being healthy, both physically and emotionally. But growth takes effort. When that effort feels overwhelming, some people decide it’s not worth it.” He goes on, “We can try to ignore the natural instinct to grow, but growth takes place in spite of our efforts. Trying to stop growth is like trying to hold a beach ball underwater. We might be able to do it for a while, but it keeps popping up to the surface. “If people avoid the effort of growth, they often replace it by being distracted. They focus on something else like entertainment or busyness to keep them from feeling the need to grow. But under the surf