A thought by Gary Chapman, from his book, When Sorry Isn't Enough (p. 10). Moody Publishers. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon to buy the book.)
This could be an important subject at this time of the year.
Gary continues, "That is because we have different 'languages' of apology.
He says, " 'I have seen this often in my counseling,' Dr. Jennifer Thomas said. 'One spouse says, " 'If he would only apologize,' " and the other says, " 'I have apologized.' " So they get into an argument about what it means to apologize. Of course, they have different perceptions.'
"I have observed numerous couples in my office exhibiting similar behavior. It was obvious they were not connecting with each other. The supposed apology was not having the desired effect of forgiveness and reconciliation. I also remember occasions in my own marriage when Karolyn would apologize but I considered it rather weak, and other occasions when I would apologize, but she’d have a hard time forgiving me because she felt that I was insincere."
He goes on, "We believe that going beyond a quick 'I’m sorry'—learning to apologize effectively—can help rekindle love that has been dimmed by pain. We believe that when we all learn to apologize—and when we understand each other’s apology language—we can trade in tired excuses for honesty, trust, and joy.
Gary then says, "All of us are painfully aware of the conflict, division, anger, and strife in our world today, from Washington, DC, to the Mideast to the streets of our inner cities to seemingly safe New England villages. We will conclude, therefore, with a chapter that some may see as ethereal but we believe holds great potential: What would the world be like if we all learned to apologize effectively?"
And that is so true, isn't it? Yes, yes! #continuethought
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