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“People who hate their lives are the least likely to change them.”

A thought by Erwin Raphael McManus from his book, The Way of the Warrior (p. 42). The Crown Publishing Group. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.)

But it seems like they would want to change.

But Erwin says, “It may seem completely counterintuitive, but in my experience, depressed people are the least likely to be willing to change any of their life patterns. In other words, people who hate their lives are the least likely to change them. When you love your life, you are more open to change. When you somehow find yourself in a life you never wanted, it has a paralyzing effect. It becomes a subtle version of Stockholm syndrome, where you develop an unhealthy relationship to your captor and disdain for anyone trying to set you free.

“I’ve learned this lesson the hard way over the past forty years. I have tried one too many times to help people move out of lives they hate to lives they could love. The problem is that the change could not come without risk. I have seen this time and again. People will stay in jobs they hate for an unimaginable number of years. They will stay in destructive relationships because the fear of being alone feels overwhelming to them. If you are not living the life you long for and have the power to choose a different life, then what is keeping you from your freedom? Is there a siege work that has been built around your life that needs to be torn down? The wisdom of the warrior is your way to freedom.”

Psalm 111:10 says, “the fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom.”

Erwin says, “Why is the fear of God the starting point on the path toward wisdom? To begin with, what you fear has mastery over your life. If you fear only God, then he becomes your only master. What you fear also establishes the boundaries of your freedom. If you are afraid of heights, you stay low. If you are afraid of crowds, you stay alone. Fear limits your freedom except when it comes to God.

“Scripture tells us that ‘perfect love casts out fear.’ (1 John 4:18 NASB) When we fear God and God alone, our fear is consumed in his perfect love. It is only when we love him that his love casts out all our fear. So when we love the Lord our God with all our hearts and souls and strength and minds, fear no longer has power over our lives. We are finally and most beautifully free.”

And anyone can do that. It is a matter of focus, isn’t it?


Yes, yes!
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