Skip to main content

“Too often people allow the actions of others to impact their own attitudes and emotions.”

A thought by John C. Maxwell (2017-03-07) from his book, No Limits: Blow the CAP Off Your Capacity (p. 101). Center Street. Kindle Edition. (Click on the title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.)

It is so easy to do.  But we will be losers if we allow it.  And we are the ones who allow it.

John says, “As humans, we have the capacity to create and control our own attitudes and emotions. We need to make that choice for ourselves every day. Otherwise, people will control us.”

He goes on, “Let me share with you what I do that helps me not to get sucked in by the behavior of difficult people. I associate two numbers with everyone I meet. The first is my belief number for them. I refer to this as putting a ten on people’s heads. I see everyone as a potential 10 (on a scale of 1 to 10). I choose to do that so that I’ll treat every person well. I also know that most people rise to the level of our expectations for them, so by seeing everyone as a 10, I’m making room for every person to rise to that level.

“The second number I associate with people is based on my personal experience and interaction with them. I call this my experience number with them. While I choose in advance to make the belief number a 10, the experience number is derived from their behavior. In my interaction, if the person treats others well, keeps his word, adds value with people, has high competence, and so on, the number will be high. If the person is self-centered, dysfunctional, abusive, and negative, then the number will be low. As I gain more experience with the person, the number continually changes. If in my experience the interactions are negative and the person’s number is low, I choose to have less interaction with that person. That’s how I keep others from controlling me.”

Such good advice.  The key is to understand that we allow others to control us. It is also so important for us to not be that kind of friend that has a negative impact but one who has a positive one.  And we are in control of that too.


So, is it easy for you to allow others to have an impact on your attitudes and emotions?
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

“There’s a big difference between building a castle and building a kingdom.”

A thought by Bob Goff from his book, Everybody, Always: Becoming Love in a World Full of Setbacks and Difficult People ( p. 41). Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.)   Have you ever built a sand castle or maybe a Lego castle?   Have you? Bob says, “We actually build castles all the time, out of our jobs and our families and the things we’ve purchased. Sometimes we even make them out of each other. Some of these castles are impressive too. Lots of people come to admire what we’ve built over the course of our lives and tell us what great castles we have. But Jesus told His friends we weren’t supposed to spend our lives building castles. He said He wanted us to build a kingdom, and there’s a big difference between building a castle and building a kingdom.” Bob goes on, “You see, castles have moats to keep creepy people out, but kingdoms have bridges to let everyone in. Castles have dungeons for people who ha...
Post a Comment
Read more

“When you understand that life is a test, you realize that nothing is insignificant in your life.”

A thought by Rick Warren, (2012-10-23) from his book, The Purpose Driven Life: What on Earth Am I Here For? (Purpose Driven Life, The) (p. 57). Zondervan. Kindle Edition. To realize that from God’s perspective life is a test goes a long way in determining how you handle your life.   It is important to see that in testing your character is both developed and revealed.   Rick goes on to say that “even the smallest incident has significance for your character development. Every day is an important day, and every second is a growth opportunity to deepen your character, to demonstrate love, or to depend on God.” So there is a God purpose behind each situation in your life.   Even the bad ones are there to strengthen you and develop you.   You see those bad situations are really good ones because they are there for your good. I start each day with a reminder that God is good.   Not every situation that is going to come in my day is good but because G...
Post a Comment
Read more

“What areas of my personality, background, and physical appearance am I struggling to accept?”

A thought by Rick Warren, (2012-10-23) from his book, The Purpose Driven Life: What on Earth Am I Here For? (Purpose Driven Life, The) (p. 35). Zondervan. Kindle Edition. Rick posed this question at the end of his chapter, You Are Not an Accident.   In this chapter he deals with the fact that God created you the way you are with a purpose.   In other words you are not an accident.   I am also reading the Apostle John’s view of Jesus and what He said and did while He was here on earth.   In the beginning of Chapter 9 there is a story about a blind man.   And the disciples who were with Him asked Him a good question, “Who sinned, this man or his parents that he was born blind? ”   Have you ever asked the same thing about something in you that you don’t like?   Like that characteristic is a curse or something.   Society has set a standard that is not a standard of God.   Remember, He created you and you are not an accident. Je...
Post a Comment
Read more