Skip to main content

“Too often people allow the actions of others to impact their own attitudes and emotions.”

A thought by John C. Maxwell (2017-03-07) from his book, No Limits: Blow the CAP Off Your Capacity (p. 101). Center Street. Kindle Edition. (Click on the title to go to to buy the book.)

It is so easy to do.  But we will be losers if we allow it.  And we are the ones who allow it.

John says, “As humans, we have the capacity to create and control our own attitudes and emotions. We need to make that choice for ourselves every day. Otherwise, people will control us.”

He goes on, “Let me share with you what I do that helps me not to get sucked in by the behavior of difficult people. I associate two numbers with everyone I meet. The first is my belief number for them. I refer to this as putting a ten on people’s heads. I see everyone as a potential 10 (on a scale of 1 to 10). I choose to do that so that I’ll treat every person well. I also know that most people rise to the level of our expectations for them, so by seeing everyone as a 10, I’m making room for every person to rise to that level.

“The second number I associate with people is based on my personal experience and interaction with them. I call this my experience number with them. While I choose in advance to make the belief number a 10, the experience number is derived from their behavior. In my interaction, if the person treats others well, keeps his word, adds value with people, has high competence, and so on, the number will be high. If the person is self-centered, dysfunctional, abusive, and negative, then the number will be low. As I gain more experience with the person, the number continually changes. If in my experience the interactions are negative and the person’s number is low, I choose to have less interaction with that person. That’s how I keep others from controlling me.”

Such good advice.  The key is to understand that we allow others to control us. It is also so important for us to not be that kind of friend that has a negative impact but one who has a positive one.  And we are in control of that too.

So, is it easy for you to allow others to have an impact on your attitudes and emotions?


Popular posts from this blog

“Disappointment is the gap between what I expect and what I experience.”

A thought by Steven Furtick, (2014-02-11) from his book, Crash the Chatterbox: Hearing God's Voice Above All Others(Kindle Locations 2857-2858). The Doubleday Religious Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.

And we all have a bunch of those don’t we?And there is real danger in there.
One of the phrases that I have quoted to the point I’m sure of annoyance to my family is the phrase, “too high expectations bring about frustration.”And we all have experienced that haven’t we?
For some it is their mate, to others it could be their occupations, or maybe life itself.But there is real danger in there.
Steven continues, “Disappointed expectations, when full-grown, give birth to chronic discouragement. If you allow this discouragement to run rampant in your life, you’ll lose your hope.”Again this is the follow ground that the Enemy sows his lies.
Now here is the key and I quote Steven, “Giving in to discouragement pacifies your disappointment— at first. Then you realize the pacifier is poisonous, b…

“It’s not our job to determine if the faith of others is genuine or fake.”

A thought by Larry Osborne (2015-04-01) from his book, Thriving in Babylon: Why Hope,Humility, and Wisdom Matter in a Godless Culture(Kindle Locations 544-545). David C. Cook. Kindle Edition.. (Click on the title to go to to buy the book.)
I have just finished a book and now I am looking for a new one.  I have just bought three new books and have been getting through the beginning of all of them to see which one I will find challenging and enlightening to not only me but to you.
Now this thought stopped me.  I fight within me to be critical of the Christian world and its tendency toward fighting battles that I don’t perceive as God’s battles.  In other words I fight being judgmental of others.  But as Larry says, “It’s not our job to determine if the faith of others is genuine or fake.”  He goes on to say, “We’re not supposed to take it upon ourselves to weed out the genuine from the counterfeit. That’s God’s job. Jesus made it clear that we are to leave the weeding to him.”

“You cannot fix the blame and solve the problem at the same time.”

A thought by Ray Johnston (2014-05-13) from his book, The Hope Quotient:  Measure It. Raise It. You'll Never Be the Same. (p.152). Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition. (Click on the title to go to to buy the book.)
It is so easy to play the blame game, isn’t?But it doesn’t solve the problem, does it?
Ray says, “Blame is deadly. I’ll never forget a young couple who came into my office years ago, seeking counsel for their troubled marriage. They looked sharp; they had two beautiful young children, a gorgeous home, and scowls that blistered the paint on my office walls.
“’What’s up?’ I asked. That’s all it took.
“’Well, he...’ She took off and shredded the guy for what seemed like thirty minutes. Then she made a strategic mistake— she took a breath. He took over. ‘Well, she ...’ Out came a machine gun of hurtful words that riddled her. Back and forth they went, with increasing volume until staff members stationed outside my office left to work at the loud coffee shop around the cor…