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"What triggers my emotional dysfunctions?

A thought by Chad Veach from his book,  I Work with People   (p. 67). Baker Publishing Group. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon to buy the book.)  And that is another good question in determining the way we react. Chad says, "What circumstances or factors turn you toward the 'dark side'? Think back on times when your emotions have gotten the best of you and take note of any patterns. Leading yourself starts with knowing yourself, and part of knowing yourself is understanding the external factors that could be affecting you internally. Some factors might be specific to you and your situation, but many are probably the same things that tend to affect all of us negatively. What are some of these factors? "To start with, unmet or urgent physical needs can trigger emotional instability. These include tiredness, hunger, hormones, stress, illness, and chronic pain, to name a few. For example, if you skipped breakfast, ate only a bag of chips for lunc...

"What is my go-to dysfunction?"

A thought by Chad Veach from his book,  I Work with People   (p. 66). Baker Publishing Group. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon to buy the book.) That is very good productive question to ask yourself. Chad says, "Your go-to dysfunction is the negative and perhaps even destructive behavior that indicates your emotional state is not where it should be. Everyone has one—or more—of these dysfunctions, but not everyone admits it. If you’re not sure what yours is, just ask your spouse, your friends, or the people you work with every day, and they can probably tell you! How do you start to break down under pressure? What sort of destructive behavior are you prone to? Put another way, when you lose it, what does it look like? Those might sound like depressing questions, but identifying your tendencies under pressure is actually a positive, wise, and proactive step toward keeping your emotional ups and downs from hurting people." He goes on, "There’s a reas...

"As a leader, it’s neither possible nor desirable for you to lead without emotions."

A thought by Chad Veach from his book,  I Work with People   (p. 64). Baker Publishing Group. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon to buy the book.) They are to be identified, controlled and used. Chad says, "You’re not a robot. You are a human leading other humans, and emotions are intertwined in everything humans say and do. Trying to divorce yourself of all feelings would be both damaging and boring. Instead, put your energy into identifying your emotions and then leading your emotions." He goes on, "Leaders who can’t control their emotions are, in a sense, emotionally immature. They might be organizational giants, but they are emotional toddlers. One of the defining characteristics of toddlers is extreme emotions: they can go from hysterical laughter to maniacal rage to angelic slumber in a matter of moments. That’s understandable in children. But when an adult manifests the emotional instability of a child, something is wrong, and someone is g...

"Feeling different or thinking you don’t fit in is a reminder that you are unique."

A thought by Chad Veach from his book,  I Work with People   (p. 60). Baker Publishing Group. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon to buy the book.) Yes, we are, we are unique. Chad says, "That uniqueness needs to be celebrated and even enhanced. The goal isn’t to fit in, because to fit in you’d have to be like everyone else. The goal is to be you. So, rather than spending inordinate amounts of time and energy trying to strengthen your weaknesses, lean into the things you’re naturally good at or the areas in which you have greatest potential for growth. Don’t ignore all your weaknesses, especially if they are hurting you or those around you in some way, but focus most of your efforts on excelling in your areas of strength." He continues, "It’s okay not to be good at everything. To use yet another sports analogy, most top athletes master only one sport—and often only one position or category within that sport. They might be skilled at other sports and ...

"There is something freeing about cheering for other people."

A thought by Chad Veach from his book,  I Work with People   (p. 60). Baker Publishing Group. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon to buy the book.) So, why is that? Chad says, "Because insecurity typically tries to pull other people down in a misguided effort to feel better about itself, every time you choose to lift people up , you are taking a stand against insecurity in your own mind and heart. You are reminding yourself that you don’t need to be better than anyone in order to be valuable; that your worth is not based on your accomplishments; that someone else’s success doesn’t lower your value." He goes on, "Celebrating others also reminds you that other people are not really the competition. Granted, in certain business or athletic scenarios, other people are the competition, but I’m not talking about that—I’m talking about the underlying fear or belief that someone else’s success somehow diminishes mine. Success is not a finite quantity that m...

"... security and confidence are freeing."

  A thought by Chad Veach from his book,  I Work with People   (p. 58). Baker Publishing Group. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon to buy the book.) This is so true. Chad says, "Security in who you are makes you followable. People love to be around leaders who are comfortable in their own skin, because that attitude releases them to be themselves as well. Keep in mind that confidence comes from security, not the other way around. First you become secure on the inside, then you exude confidence on the outside: confidence in words, confidence in decisions, confidence in social settings, confidence in your calling. Every form of confidence starts with knowing who you are (identity) and valuing who you are (security)." He continues, "Insecure people sabotage their leadership without even realizing it. They constantly wonder if someone else is more skilled than them or more popular than them. They feel intimidated by the success of their team members...

"Every leader feels dumb at times..."

A thought by Chad Veach from his book,  I Work with People   (p. 54). Baker Publishing Group. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon to buy the book.) Now every leader could agree with that if they were honest.  Chad says, "Every leader feels dumb at times, but what you do with that feeling has the potential to make or break your leadership. Once in a while (maybe frequently), you will feel awkward, like a misfit, like you don’t measure up to expectations. That is okay. It’s actually a gift, if you know how to handle it correctly. Can you imagine how much healthier, how much more fun and relaxed, and how much more empowering leadership would be if we could all learn to enjoy the feeling of not being the smartest person in the room, rather than feeling threatened by it?" He goes on, "I’m not saying you don’t have to grow or change, either, but you are who you are. You can’t completely change that, and you shouldn’t try. Rather, you should lean in to...