“Marriage problems are easy.”

A thought by Andy Stanley (2015-01-06) from his book, The New Rules for Love, Sex, and Dating (p. 20). Zondervan. Kindle Edition. (Click on the title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.)

Now I’ve quoted this thought as a grabber. It is not to be read and just accepted and quoted but it is something that I hope does get you to stop and strive to understand what it really means.

Here is the context that Andy said it. He said, “I’ve met with many struggling married couples who would describe themselves as having ‘marriage problems.’ But in all my years I’ve never talked to a married couple that actually had a marriage problem. What I’ve discovered is that people with problems get married and their problems collide. What was manageable as a single person eventually becomes unmanageable within the context of marriage. Marriage problems are easy. They rarely require counseling. But when the premarriage past surfaces in a marriage, that’s another story.”

My son Brett and his wife Marissa and my daughter Stefanie and her husband Andrew are both celebrating their anniversary’s this next week. One is on Wednesday and the other on Sunday. Margaret and I celebrate our 40^th anniversary back in November. We have had 37 great years, and three really bad ones. Now those three difficult ones came about because of some problems in us that came into our marriage and finally came out at a certain time. So I very much understand what Andy is saying. The problems in us followed us into our marriage.

Down near Joliet, Illinois the Mississippi and the Ohio rivers come together and then make up one great Mississippi River which heads down to the Gulf of Mexico. They look great on the surface but there is a lot of stuff below the surface that they each bring with them that cause great problems when they hit each other. That is a tremendous example of marriage.

Now Andy says, “That dynamic is one of the primary reasons I wrote this book. There’s enough unavoidable pain in life. I want to help you avoid the avoidable pain. Namely, pain you will experience later because of decisions you are making right now.

Margaret and I could have avoided those times if we would have somehow in our beginnings come to grips with those problems but the good thing is we finally did come to grips with them without running away from our marriage. And we are so glad we did. Margaret outside of Jesus is the best gift that God has ever given me. Yes our relationship has some work to be done in then but it is so worth it.

How are you doing?

Comments

"Lie 2: The more you worry about it, the better your odds of avoiding it."

A thought by Louie Giglio in his book, Winning the War on Worry (p. 5). Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon to buy the book.) Here is another lie that the Enemy uses with us. And Louie says, "This is a tricky lie. Yes, we often have cause for concern and preparation. But the Enemy wants you to believe that if you worry or fret over a certain outcome long enough, you can keep something bad from happening." But this is so important to realize. He says, "The reality is worrying has never once prevented something negative from happening. Planning might. Prayer has. But worry never will." He continues, "The Enemy tells you that by worrying about a situation (or every situation) you can make your tomorrow better. Really, worry just robs you of today. Jesus implored us: 'I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body mor...

“There’s a big difference between building a castle and building a kingdom.”

A thought by Bob Goff from his book, Everybody, Always: Becoming Love in a World Full of Setbacks and Difficult People ( p. 41). Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.) Have you ever built a sand castle or maybe a Lego castle? Have you? Bob says, “We actually build castles all the time, out of our jobs and our families and the things we’ve purchased. Sometimes we even make them out of each other. Some of these castles are impressive too. Lots of people come to admire what we’ve built over the course of our lives and tell us what great castles we have. But Jesus told His friends we weren’t supposed to spend our lives building castles. He said He wanted us to build a kingdom, and there’s a big difference between building a castle and building a kingdom.” Bob goes on, “You see, castles have moats to keep creepy people out, but kingdoms have bridges to let everyone in. Castles have dungeons for people who ha...

"To put it simply, worry isn’t just a bad habit."

A thought by Louie Giglio in his book, Winning the War on Worry (p. 1). Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon to buy the book.) Ok, that is interesting. Louie says, "Worry is an Enemy tactic—a strategy built on lies that are designed to rob you of peace and tear your mind to pieces. "That’s why it’s crucial that you are able to spot the lies worry tells." He goes on, "Not long ago while on safari in South Africa, Shelley and I were really wanting to see a leopard in the wild. Early and late on our game drives our eyes were set on every tree limb, bush, grassy hill, and river path in hopes of finding one of several leopards that were known to frequent this particular area. But here’s the thing: leopards aren’t bright orange with tall, sparkly antennae on their backs. They are designed to blend into the surroundings, like the bark of a baobab tree where they might be lounging on one of its mighty branches. "In the same way, ...

Just Continue That Thought...

Search This Blog