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“Self-image constitutes one of the most important relationships in life.”

A thought by Andy Stanley, (2009-01-21) from his book, Louder Than Words: The Power of Uncompromised Living (Kindle Locations 511-512). The Doubleday Religious Publishing Group. Kindle Edition. (Click on the title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.) I know from a Christ follower perspective anything with self in it is a problem.   But Andy says, “The way we view ourselves determines how we will interact with God, family, friends, loved ones, and even those we consider to be our enemies.”   So this is an important relationship in our life. I was just walking back from my time of read and I walked past a group of middle schoolers who were in summer school.   And as I was walking by a young guy was practicing hitting a ball into a floor hockey goal and he missed it by a mile.   Now I didn’t look up so he would notice he had missed it because I know how embarrassed he would have been.   I’m sure he was telling himself that he couldn’t do it maybe because he was a loser and I fe

“The instant we knowingly compromise our character, a change takes place deep inside us.”

A thought by Andy Stanley, (2009-01-21) from his book, Louder Than Words: The Power of Uncompromised Living (Kindle Location 497). The Doubleday Religious Publishing Group. Kindle Edition. You have experienced that haven’t you?   Andy says, “In that moment we become keenly aware of a disparity between God’s standard and the one we are living out. We are filled with a gnawing sense of unworthiness, and we feel distanced from Him. We call this feeling guilt.”   And that guilt affects my relationship with God. I know that God hates pride.   I just was at Whole Foods Market and I put the checker on the spot on something that I thought she had done wrong.   As I was walking out I had this feeling inside that I had mishandled that.   I saw that my pride had reared its ugly head and that it had the potential to hurt my relationship with God.   Now I could have just ignored the feeling and rationalized that she was trying to jip me out of some of my money and that I had the rig

“There is no clearer measure of our character than the health of our relationships.”

A thought by Andy Stanley, (2009-01-21) from his book, Louder Than Words: The Power of Uncompromised Living (Kindle Locations 446-447). The Doubleday Religious Publishing Group. Kindle Edition. Now to Andy, “Character is the will to do what is right, as defined by God, regardless of personal cost.”    In reality having character is other’s-oriented.   “As we subscribe to God’s absolute standard of right and wrong, we are directed to focus on the needs of others instead of ourselves.” Here are some examples that Andy gives.   “It’s that one-in-a-million friend who never says anything negative about you in your absence. It’s the guy who quickly owns up to his mistakes instead of blaming others. It’s the woman who is quick to give credit to the person who originated an idea rather than taking credit herself. It’s the husband who has only positive things to say about his wife in public. It’s the wife who allows her husband to lead when everyone knows she is more gifted in that a

“God can be trusted. After all, He has already demonstrated His unconditional love for me.”

A thought by Andy Stanley, (2009-04-23) from his book, The Best Question Ever (p. 183). The Doubleday Religious Publishing Group. Kindle Edition. He already gave the ultimate gift for us even before we were born, ever before we knew we needed it.   He showed He loved us by giving His Son for us on the Cross.   So why would He do that for us? Andy says, “God desires that your life be a masterpiece that reflects His greatness and your uniqueness. But to create a masterpiece with our lives, we must submit ourselves to the hand of the Master. We must allow Him to influence each stroke on the canvas of our lives.” Now the problem in all of this is, we believe that we can make the masterpiece and we don’t need any help.   And many of us are doing a pretty good job and that is also the problem. One of the principles of Church Planting and I was a Church Planter, was that the people who were the most open to going to a new church were those who were going through some transit

“Wise people know when they don’t know.”

A thought by Andy Stanley, (2009-04-23) from his book, The Best Question Ever (p. 165). The Doubleday Religious Publishing Group. Kindle Edition. And then he follows that with, “The fool is the person who convinces himself that he knows more than he really knows and doesn’t need to ask anybody anything. At the end of the day, the wise man breaths a sigh of relief; the fool, a sigh of regret.” And that is so easy to do in making decisions because it is built into us that we need to believe in ourselves.   Have confidence but it is also very important to have humility.   And humility means we have a true assessment of our abilities and we understand our limitations and our need to ask for help when we know we need it.   But pride gets in the way of humility doesn’t it?   So we tread in places where we convince ourselves that we know more than we really know and we don’t need anybody’s help.   That is where the sleepless, restless nights come in. But we are afraid to ask bec

“You will never be all you’re capable of being unless you tap the wisdom of the wise people around you.”

A thought by Andy Stanley, (2009-04-23) from his book, The Best Question Ever (p. 159). The Doubleday Religious Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.  (Click on the title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.) My dad was a very wise man and he used to say a lot of short phrases that have stayed with me over the years.   One phrase was “Advice not asked for stinks.”   And I have followed that thought throughout my life.   I knew that if I gave it without something asking for it they wouldn’t follow it so why give it. I have people ask me to call someone and tell them what they need to hear and I always say, “No”.   I f they call then I would talk to them but the person had to ask. And James in the New Testatment understood God’s thought on this where in James 1:5 (CEB) he says, “But anyone who needs wisdom should ask God, whose very nature is to give to everyone without a second thought…”   The key here is, you have to ask.   He gives it without a second thought but you need to

“Most of the major social ills in America are caused by, or fueled by, the misuse of our sexuality.”

A thought by Andy Stanley, (2009-04-23) from his book, The Best Question Ever (p. 108). The Doubleday Religious Publishing Group. Kindle Edition. (Click on the title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.) Andy continues, “If issues related to sexual impurity—adultery, the shrapnel associated with adultery, addiction to pornography, AIDS and other sexually transmitted diseases, abortion, the psychological effects associated with abortion, sexual abuse, incest, rape, and all sexual addictions— were to suddenly disappear from society, imagine the resources we would have available to apply to the handful of issues that would remain.” But there is more to it than that.   Maybe one of these has hit you somewhere and you understand the great pain and deep regret that comes from the misuse of our sexuality.   And there is deep pain that comes even to the innocent with this misuse. It is something that we all need to come to grips with and do all we can to keep from it happening in ou

“If you are not being ‘careful,’ you will miss those irretrievable opportunities to make small, incremental time deposits in the things that matter most.”

A thought by Andy Stanley, (2009-04-23) from his book, The Best Question Ever (p. 80). The Doubleday Religious Publishing Group. Kindle Edition. We will miss those irretrievable opportunities that matter most.   Now that hits at the heart of one who wants to maximize my time.   Time cannot be retrieved.   You may lose all your money and you can make more but when you lose time you have lost it. Andy says right before this thought, “If you aren’t on your guard, the culture will draw you into a lifestyle where your time is frivolously consumed rather than strategically invested.”   And then right after he says, “If you are not walking wisely, your time will be fragmented by a thousand urgent, disconnected opportunities and events. Such opportunities and events will seem important at the time, but when strung together they have no cumulative value.   But if you are willing to harness your time and appropriate it strategically, things can be different. You will be healthier phy

“We are meant to analyze every opportunity and invitation through the lens of wisdom.”

A thought by Andy Stanley, (2009-04-23) from his book, The Best Question Ever (p. 33). The Doubleday Religious Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.  (Click on the title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.) Now we all want so many different handles that we can use to become better at what we do and to live a happy fulfilling life.   Now in that happening there will be many difference decisions that need to be made.   Those decisions will affect our here and now and they will affect many different people and they will affect our future.   And this thought is more than a handle it needs to become a way of life.   In looking at every decision that we are to make Andy says that we are to make it based on The Best Question Ever . Andy says, “Like a good father, God wants what’s best for each of us. So He has given us a standard that goes beyond the cultural norms. He has given us a question that enables us to live out the values that lead to what Jesus referred to as an abundant life

“Our poor planning leads precisely where we had no intention of going.”

A thought by Andy Stanley, (2009-04-23) from his book, The Best Question Ever (p. 20). The Doubleday Religious Publishing Group. Kindle Edition. I have always had a problem with my weight.   The last three to four months I have seen it slowly go back up to where I didn’t want it to go.   In the last few years I had lost around 50 lbs. but little by little I was gaining it back.   Poor planning was taking me where I didn’t want to go.   So I set up a plan to do something and I have been seeing good results.   But I had to have a plan and to stick to it. Andy says, “Having watched dozens of people methodically waste their lives, potential, and money, I’ve concluded that while nobody plans to mess up his life, the problem is that few of us plan not to. That is, we don’t put the necessary safeguards in place to ensure a happy ending.” I have found that not eating anything that has wheat in it makes a big difference for me.   I would do a good job of diet and walking during th

“Some of the decisions you wish you could unmake led to chapters of your life you wish you could go back and unlive.”

A thought by Andy Stanley, (2009-04-23) from his book, The Best Question Ever (Kindle Locations 120-121). The Doubleday Religious Publishing Group. Kindle Edition . I found out earlier this week that I made a decision five years ago that is affecting me right now.   I t was something I let someone else do for me and it is affecting me today and I have a decision to make today.   One do I play the blame game and throw them under the bus or do I do nothing or do I accept responsibility for the problem and do today what I should have done back then? It is so much easier to play the blame game and feel so sorry for yourself than it is to take responsibility isn’t it?   It was my fault.   I should have thought the situation through and made sure that they knew everything so they could do their job.   I blew it not them.   I assumed they knew more than they did. Now another decision I made was more far reaching.   It is still affecting us today.   I stuck my head in the sand un

“Unresolved relationships, debts that have been neglected, apologies never made—these are things God will eventually lead us to own and resolve.”

A thought by Andy Stanley, (2009-08-22) from his book , It Came from Within!: The Shocking Truth of What Lurks in the Heart (p. 126). Multnomah Books. Kindle Edition. Guilt is a horrible thing to live with and Christ died so it could be taken care of.   But to be totally free from it we need to take full responsibility of the action for our guilt.   Where does the guilt come from?   What did we do?   Who did we hurt?   Yes if we confess He’ll forgive but there is more to be done. What about the person you hurt?   What about that debt you still owe?   Don’t stop until it is fully resolved.   Then you will be totally free. So what is your next step

“Knowing doesn’t make the difference. Doing does.”

A thought by Andy Stanley, (2009-03-31). From his book, The Principle of the Path: How to Get from Where You Are to Where You Want to Be (p. 178). Thomas Nelson - A. Kindle Edition. Now knowing that I have another 20+ lbs. to lose doesn’t make the difference. Walking that extra mile, not eating the maple scone and drinking that water does. Knowing the path I need to take to get where I want to go doesn't make a difference.  Taking it does. Knowing from this friend that a certain guy will take care of a certain task and having his phone number doesn’t make the difference.   Picking up the phone and getting an appointment with him does. Knowing that the place to start in finding out about what Christ is like is the Gospels in the New Testament is great information but doesn’t make the difference.   R eading the first verse in the first chapter of Matthew does. Knowing that my car is close to running out of gas is important but doesn’t make a difference.   Stoppin

“Perhaps with unlimited time we could make more of our dreams come true.”

A thought by Andy Stanley, (2009-03-31) from his book, The Principle of the Path: How to Get from Where You Are to Where You Want to Be (p. 158). Thomas Nelson - A. Kindle Edition . Right at this time as a retired minister there are three churches in three different areas of LA that I would love to give the rest of my life to be a part of.   Not as a minister but as a committed laymen.   Two of them when I took a weekend off from the church I pastored in Las Vegas I would make it a point to visit at least once a year.   The other I visited once.   They are all great churches with great pastors who I have listened to their sermons and read all their books for years.   But life is getting shorter each day. Now as a consumer Christian I could just float from one to the other.   Just drinking in all the good stuff but I don’t believe that is the way one truly makes a difference and fulfills a dream.   There must be a commitment involved to one dream.   And that can be difficult

“Behavior is not always an accurate indicator of what’s going on inside.”

A thought from Andy Stanley (2009-08-22) from his book, It Came from Within!: The Shocking Truth of What Lurks in the Heart (p. 31). Multnomah Books. Kindle Edition. Some people are good at hiding what is happening on the inside.   They have done it so long.   Now if they are hiding it then it probably is a negative thing, something painful, or a type of guilt.   If it is good thing they probably don’t want to hide it. I knew a friend who hid an evil practice behind a jovial personality.   Only a few people knew the truth.   He hid behind the façade of being a minister for many, many years.   And he fooled a lot of people, even members of his family.   Finally he was arrested and it all came out. Some hide great emotional pain behind a smile or a fun loving personality.   It is their way of not dealing with it but it needs to come out to someone who can help with the healing of it. A few years ago, Margaret, my wife started having a problem in swallowing.   My tenden

“You don’t forgive because the other person deserves it; you forgive because you have been forgiven.”

A thought by Andy Stanley (2009-08-22) from his book, It Came from Within!: The Shocking Truth of What Lurks in the Heart (p. 145). Multnomah Books. Kindle Edition. That is why so many can’t forgive.   They don’t feel like they have been forgiven.   One of the great benefits to having a relationship with Christ is the ability to forgive others because we have been forgiven.     1 john 1.9 says, “If we confess He’ll forgive.”   Now of course for some that is a problem.   They will not ever admit that they have ever been wrong so confessing for them is a problem.   But admitting is the plart you pay and forgiveness is the part He plays. Now let me tell you, admitting can be so liberating in its self.   I mean the action you did that you know is wrong keeps you in a state of negative guilt and in that state you feel miserable.   And of course when you feel miserable no way do you want someone else to feel good.   So no way are you going to forgive them.   They shouldn’t feel

“Grace can’t be earned.”

A thought by Andy Stanley, (2010-10-19) from his book, The Grace of God (Kindle Location 116). Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition . I was sitting in my spot at Starbucks this morning with my table all organized and a man came up and asked if he could sit in the other chair.   There was no other place to sit so I begrudgingly said, “yes” so he sat down and started using his half of the table.   Now that kind of griped me so I wasn’t really very friendly or I should say very gracious to him.   He had invaded my space without me asking him to. I didn’t respond much better the whole time he was there.   In other words, i blew it in being gracious to him.   My pride and my feeling of being inconvenienced got in the way of my being gracious. I went home and started getting ready to move some stuff over to our storage unit and I carried it down to the car, put it into the car, ready to run up and get some more stuff and then realized that I had locked my keys in the car to the ca

“If you start confessing your sins to the people you’ve sinned against, odds are that you’re not going to go back and commit those same sins again.”

A thought by Andy Stanley, (2009-08-22) from his book, It Came from Within!: The Shocking Truth of What Lurks in the Heart (p. 116). Multnomah Books. Kindle Edition . We many times are confused over the fact that confession of an action doesn’t always end with our confession to God.   That is a part of confession but there is also the part of confessing to the people that you’ve sinned against.   You see, our desire needs to also be to not commit the same sin again. Let’s say, you cheat on a test and you confess to God but if you then confess to your teacher that you cheated, there is a great chance that you won’t cheat again.   Let’s say it another way, the thought of you facing your spouse, or facing your kids and confessing to them that you cheated sexually with someone else may be a way of keeping you from giving in to the temptation to cheat sexually.   Anything to keep us from giving in to the temptation will be a good thing. Another thing to see is that some p

“Our relationship with God hinges on our relationship with other people—the two are inseparable.”

A thought by Andy Stanley, (2009-08-22) from his book, It Came from Within!: The Shocking Truth of What Lurks in the Heart (p. 115). Multnomah Books. Kindle Edition. This whole matter of relationships with others is so important because it affects our relationship with God.   Andy also says, “The truth is, you cannot resolve your differences with God if you are unwilling to resolve your differences with the people around you.”   Jesus made this clear when He said in Matthew 6:15 (NIV), “But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” Relationships are so very important.   In some situations you may need some outside help.   There are people who have the ability to deal with conflict.   For men this many times is a problem.   They aren’t even honest with themselves that there is a problem so how in the world could they be honest with someone else.   They aren’t even honest with their wives or or their parents or their kids or that person

“Forgiveness is a gift we decide to give in spite of how we feel.”

A thought by Andy Stanley (2009-08-22) from his book, It Came from Within!: The Shocking Truth of What Lurks in the Heart (p. 145). Multnomah Books. Kindle Edition . That is so true.   I had a situation that happened in my life that in no way did I want to forgive. I wanted to play the martyr and get all I could out of it.   I mean they stabbed me in the back and then there were others who followed them closely behind and again that really hurt. But today I am at peace.   There is no pain at all when I think of that situation.   I am free because of forgiveness.    Now I have no relationship with this person today because of some evil that they did to someone close to me but I am free.   Have I forgiven them for what they did to the other person?   No, I haven’t.   The evil that they did was not toward me so what they did was not up to me to forgive them.   I am not the one to forgive them.   There are some acts that the justice of God takes over. But I am free fro