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“Most people who never learn to fail forward are stopped because they take failure personally.”

A thought by John C. Maxwell (2016-02-02) from his book, 3 Things Successful People Do: The Road Map That Will Change Your Life (p. 116). Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition. (Click on the title of the book to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.)

This matter of failing forward is such an important thing to believe and do.  

In a continuation of this thought on people taking failure personal John says, “They start saying to themselves, ‘Why can’t you do anything right?’ or ‘You shouldn’t have tried; you knew you couldn’t do it,’ or ‘See that; you’re a failure!’

John then says, “But there is a huge difference between saying ‘I have failed’ and ‘I am a failure.”  Someone who has failed can learn from her mistakes and move on. It doesn’t change who she is. But the person who tells himself, ‘I am a failure,’ gives himself little hope of improvement. No matter what he does or where he goes, his failure stays with him because he has internalized it. He makes it an inseparable part of him. Asking someone who has convinced himself that he is a failure to be successful would be like asking an apple tree to produce cantaloupes. It can’t be done.”

Negative self-talk has such power over us as does positive self-talk.

John ends this section by saying, “If you’re in the habit of assassinating your own character or questioning your talent every time something goes wrong, stop it. Making mistakes is like breathing; it’s something you’ll keep doing as long as you’re alive. So learn to live with it and move on.”

I like how John Ortberg in his book, What is God’s Will For My Life? puts it.  He says, “Moses chose murder. David chose murder and adultery and a cover-up. Gideon chose fear. Samson chose Delilah. Elijah chose to run away from Jezebel. Jonah chose a watery escape. Peter chose to lop off a soldier’s ear. And yet all of them are in the book. God isn’t in the business of rejecting people who make wrong choices; he’s in the business of redeeming them. If only people who made correct choices were used by God, the Bible would be a much shorter book, and Jesus would be the only character.

God uses our mistakes if we confess them and give them to Him.


So what is your self-talk telling you today?

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